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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392781">Love Is The Most Powerful Weapon We Have.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorHamilton/pseuds/DoctorHamilton'>DoctorHamilton</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love Is The Most Powerful Weapon We Have. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Physical Abuse, Pre-Episode: s12e01 Spyfall Part 1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:28:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorHamilton/pseuds/DoctorHamilton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey Babe, your back form work early, everything OK?" I ask putting my coat on the hook and taking my shoes off. I look over a O and he's just staring at me. I'm not sure what I'm meant to of done, but cleary something upset him. "Oscar, what's wrong?" The corner of his lips curl into a smile and he begins to laugh. I'm not quite sure what at. He begins to mimic my voice.</p>
<p>"It's ok Babe I'll get the bits for dinner, you just come home and relax."</p>
<p>The Master is posing a human and is in a abusive relationship with Yaz, What happens when the Doctor finds out?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Yasmin Khan/The Master (Dhawan)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love Is The Most Powerful Weapon We Have. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>187</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Home Sweet Home.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi all, do apologize if there are any spelling mistake I am dyslexic so please be kind. 😊</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Right, I'm going to sort the Thermocoupling and reinforce the Safety interlocks, shouldn't take more than a couple of day... ok maybe a week, a week top I promise." the Doctor explained as she ushered  out of the TARDIS.</p><p>"Ok fine but no running off without us ok?" Ryan said as we grab some of our thing from the console.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm not gonna be very happy if I come round that corner tomorrow and you've disappeared without us, doc." Graham chimed in.</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere, go I'll be fine, don't forget you have lives here to." The Doctor explains.</p><p>"I'll come by and see you tomorrow after my shift, do you want anything?" I ask. I know it's childish but I don't want to leave her, I love my family and I love O but I don't want thing to end with the Doctor yet. There's still so much to see.</p><p>"Yaz, you really don't need to worry yourself, I'll Whatsapp you when I'm done ok? But, can you pick me up some biscuits if your coming past...I love a biscuit me!" With that me, Graham and Ryan leave.</p><p>"Right, I'm starvin' who fancies chips and gravy?" Graham asks, I don't know how that man can be hungry all the time, I've seen him sat in the middle of god know where and he pull out a sandwich.</p><p>"Yes, right on Graham, that sounds like a plan, Yaz what about you?" Ryan said heading in the direction of the local chippy.</p><p>"No, better not O's probably on his way back from work and I've not seen him in... oh I don't know however long it been... It's hard to keep track. Maybe another time yeah?"</p><p>"Ok, yeah I'll see you around then?" Ryan said smiling. I take one last look at the TARDIS before heading to mine and O's place, I know thing weren't great between me and O when I went off with the Doctor but I have missed him.</p><p> </p><p>I get my keys out my pocket and let myself in, to my surprise O's sat there waiting for me. Funny I didn't think he'd be home just yet, It's only 5 right? The Doctor said she'd drop us off the same day we left.</p><p>"Hey Babe, your back form work early, everything OK?" I ask putting my coat on the hook and taking my shoes off. I look over a O and he's just staring at me. I'm not sure what I'm meant to of done, but cleary something upset him. "Oscar, what's wrong?" The corner of his lips curl into a smile and he begins to laugh. I'm not quite sure what at. He begins to mimic my voice.</p><p>"It's ok Babe I'll get the bits for dinner, you just come home and relax." Shit I forgot all about that, it's not like a had really thought about it when I was with the Doctor, when I'm with her it's like nothing else really matters.</p><p>"O, I'm so sorry I complete forgot, give me half an hour I'll go now, what do you want? I'll cook whatever as an apology." O stand and begins to walk towards me a snarl forming.</p><p>"Idiot, It's not even like you've been at work all day, I come home and all I ask it that you've cooked, is that too much to ask?" I lower my eye ashamed at myself, he's right of course, while he's been working, I've just be running around with my mates. O's right in front of me now towering over me. "Just get whatever, I'm sure you'll manage to muck it up somehow." He walks away and into the kitchen, I hear him romage through the cupboards looking for something to eat I suppose.</p><p>I put my shoes and coat back on and head back out into the bitter cold of the late October evening. It's only a short walk to the local shop, I reel in the warmth as a step inside. I pick up my shopping as quickly as I can, I've already pissed off O, he's just going to be angier if I keep him waiting.</p><p>Once I'm back at the flat, O say's nothing to me, he's doesn't even acknowledge that I'm there. I know there's alot of making up to do before I'm back in his good books. I head straight into the kitchen and begin preparing dinner, Chilli in a soft taco bowl. By the time I've cooked it's already 6:30 and I can tell O, is getting worse, I can't blame him really, I did say I would have dinner ready when he got home and that was nearly 2 hours ago. "Dinners ready, do you want me to bring it in to you?" I ask through the kitchen door.</p><p>"Just hurry up will you, I'll like the do something with what left of the evening." O snaps at me making me jump a little. I take O his bowl first and place it on the coffee table in front of him. I watch of any sign that he's forgiven me. There is none but that fine, I know I've really messed up. He picks his food up without even giving me second glance, so I head to the kitchen to collect mine.</p><p>I settle down on the sofa next to O and begin to pick and my dinner, I'm too worried I've upset him to really be fussed about eating. I just wish I knew how to make it up to him. Once O has finished his dinner he leaves his plate on the table. I take that as a que to go and tidy the kitchen and do the washing up. I don't mind really, at least he can relax then. </p><p>I carry the bowls into the kitchen and flick the hot tap on to fill the sink. As the sink is filling I begin the collect all the dishes I used while cooking, I was never a very tidy cook. I turn around and shit, the waters overflowing, in a moment of shock I drop the chopping board and knife that were in my hand. "What the fuck are you doing Yaz!" shouts O from the living room. I turn around and see him looking over at the mess I'd made of our kitchen.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to it's just I was trying to get everything together as the water was running, I didn't realize how full the sink had gotten." I swallow hard as he come right up to me backing me against the wall.</p><p>"How can you be this fucking dumb, I mean look at you, it shouldn't be this fucking difficult!" With that he grabs me by my hair and slams my head against the wall, the thud echoing around the small kitchen. He walks towards the sink and turns the tap off. "See not that difficult is it?" O's turned away from me staring out the window as I slow get my breath back and rub the spot where my skull collided with the wall.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, I'll be more careful next time." I say quietly as a kneel down to pick up the chopping board and knife I dropped in the shock. In that moment O picks up one of the bowls and throws it at the wall where I was just a moment ago. "O please, I know you're angry but we have neighbours." I say getting a little worked up myself. I hate it when he gets like this, I never quite know what he's going to do.</p><p>Suddenly there's a glint in his eyes as the walks over to where I am on the floor. He grabs my wrist and pulls be towards the kitchen door holding my arm against the door frame. O slams the door shut on my arm over and over until a begging him to stop. </p><p>O lets me fall to the floor tears blurring my vision, I pull my arm close to my chest. I look up at him fear causing me the shake. He walks into the living room and sits back down on the sofa like nothing happened.</p><p>I can't stay here tonight, I need to get out, I'm not sure where I'll go but a park bench is better than here right now. As soon as O's sat down a get up, grab my shoes and coat not even bothering to put them on and run...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Doctor and Grace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I keep running, not looking back until I'm about 2 street away. It's only then that I stop and put my shoes and coat on. Leaning against the wall I'm suddenly aware that I'm not sure where I'm running to. The first time it got like this, I ended up at Ryan's door at 2 in the morning.</p>
<p>
  <em>I'd been sat on a bench in the parking think for about an hour, I didn't really know what to do, I mean I loved O so much but sometimes things like this happened and I'm not sure what I'm meant to do.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I took a deep breath and slowly pull myself up from the bench, wherever I was going to go had to be close by, I didn't think I could make it all the way back to my family even if anyone would've be awake. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That how I found myself at Ryans door, not quite sure this was a good idea either. He could be asleep and what about his grandparents? No this wasn't a very good idea. I turned to walk away a hoble back to the flat when Grace, Ryans nan, came up the path. "You alright Yaz, love. What's happened? Here come inside out of the cold." She smiles kindly at me and I return it the best I can but I was sure it looked forced.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Grace sat me down on one of the dining table chairs and clicks the kettle on. We stayed in an awkward silence until she place 2 cups of tea down and sat next to me. "Love, what's happened, if I may say you don't look at your best right now." Grace was right of </em> <em>course, my hair was wild, makeup smeared and probably what she was referring to was the fact that I was limping.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do, I was just coming to talk to Ryan, I know it's late I shouldn't of come."  I  say quietly staring into my tea to avoid having to look at Grace. There was a moment of silence before Grace spoke again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You can stop here tonight I'll get some blankets and a pillow, but I'd like to have a look at your leg before you go to sleep." Grace knlet on the floor and carefully held the hem of the trousers. "May I?"  I only nodded in response as she lifted up on trouser to relieve the blooded mess of my lower leg. Grace gaspt slightly at the sight but get to work straight away cleaning the wound and wrapping it.</em>
</p>
<p>How I'd long to go to Grace now. I think she knew what had happened, but every time I showed up, she'd patch me up, give me a place to sleep and a promise that I could go there whenever I needed to. I never took Grace up on the offer very often, only when I knew O needed a break.</p>
<p>Thinking of Grace was going to do me no good. I couldn't go there now. I'd go back to my family but they'd only worry. I could go to the TARDIS, just for the night, I mean it's not too far away and I don't need to tell the doctor why I'm really there. Then I the morning I can come back home and makes things right with O. With that settled I make my way to the TARDIS.</p>
<p>I knock on the TARDIS door and to no surprise the doctor doesn't answer, she probably deep in the depths of the ship, fixing something I'd have no idea about in a million years. I sigh defeated, if she won't open the door I'll have to go back to O. I turn to leave, resigned to what I'm sure will be an awful evening. O's angry that a messed up, but he's even worse when I leave. He's right of course I'm the one whos messed up why should I run away and not face the consequences of my actions. I know I'm being pathetic running and trying to hide in the TARDIS. </p>
<p>CLICK</p>
<p>The latch of the TARDIS door opens to let me inside, for a moment I think it's the doctor, but as I walk in there's no sign of her in the console room. "Doctor" I shout trying to make my presence know. For a moment I think she hasn't heard me and I'm about to go looking for her.</p>
<p>"Yaz, how'd you get in?" The Doctor asks walking up the stairs towards me, pulling her goggles to rest on her forehead.</p>
<p>"The door opened for me, I know you're busy but can I stop here tonight?" I explain. She walks closer to examining my face.</p>
<p>"What's happened?" I say nothing looking away. "Yaz..." I suddenly feel a rush of guilt I shouldn't be here, it's not fair on her or O, I'm just being selfish.</p>
<p>"Sorry, don't worry about it, I'll just go, I was being stupid." I turn to go but the Doctor rushes up to me and grabs me by my arm. On instinct I pull my arm away and bring it to my chest. It's burning, the pain bringing a tear to my eye. The Doctor retracts her hand but studies me carefully. </p>
<p>There's a moment of silence before the doctor gently lifts my chin so our eyes meet. "Can I see?" She asks quietly. I look away again but nod slightly. </p>
<p>The doctor slowly take my coat off taking extra care over my injured arm. Unlike Grace she shows no outward indication that she is shocked, just leads me gently to one of the chairs in the console room. "Can I?" she ask hovering her hand over my wrist. I nod slightly bracing myself for the sting that will come with moving it. The Doctor examined my arm for a minute and looks up at me with sad eyes. "It's not broken but I do think the bone is bruised... What happened Yaz?" This was the bit I wasn't looking forward to. Grace would ask that sometimes too. I take a deep breath.</p>
<p>"I was walking back to mine and O's flat when a couple of teenage jumped me, stomped on my arm I think." I lie, I know what the doctor would say if I told her the truth, but she wouldn't understand that it was my fault, that I was the one who caused this. "O's away on business tonight I just didn't want to be alone, sorry again." </p>
<p>"Don't ever me sorry Yaz, I've had to suspend a few rooms while I was working on the TARDIS earlier so you can't have your room, but you can take mine." She offers.</p>
<p>"Are you sure, I mean I can always go back to the flat if its a bother?" The Doctor smiles at me but it's not her normal smile, bright and shining, it's more subdued.</p>
<p>"Come on I'll show you where it is." The Doctor leads me through a series of corridors to her room. When she opened the door I'm surprised by what I see. It the centre of the room is a large double bed set low on it frame, soft coral sheets atop. The coral veins that followed us from the console form a soft glow over the room. To the left of the bed is a large window, a perfect image of deep space. The small seat below the window is covered in soft cushions in the same design as the bedding. "If you need anything just let me know, ok?" I turn to look at the doctor as she about to leave the room. I feel a rush of loneliness hit me.</p>
<p>"Stay" I ask quietly, I'm not even sure she'd heard me until she turns around and walks slow back into the room and takes a seat by the window. I'm not sure why I said that, it's not like it's my first night in the TARDIS, far from it, but  something about the Doctor makes me feel safer tonight.</p>
<p>Once I've gotten changed in the adjoining bathroom I slip under the covers and turn to face the Doctor, who has taken to staring out the window, seemingly in mid thought. "Where is that Doctor, In space I mean?" The doctor smiling sadly at me as she answers.</p>
<p>"It's the constellation of Kasterborous."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Midnight Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I know you're there! I will find you!" O's voice whispers in my head. </em>
</p>
<p>I sit upright in the bed, instantly regretting it when my pain shoots through my arm. I collapsed back onto the bed,hissing at the pain and clutch my arm, protecting it from further injury. The Doctor is still sat by the window but has turned to face me now. "Hey what's up? Can I see?" She questions. I try to sit up slowly and nod my head. With my approval the Doctor makes her way to me, the bed dipping under her weight and she sit beside me. </p>
<p>I gingerly offer my arm to the doctor who carefully examine it again. "Yaz..." She whispers as she slowly traces the bruises that mark my skin. "It's wasn't a boot that did this was it?" I snatch my arm away and turn my back to her.</p>
<p>"Please don't..." I whisper. The Doctor moves herself so she is sat beside me and slowly pulls me into a hug. I'm not sure if its her warmth or my vulnerability but I begin to sod, loud sorrowful sobs. I hadn't realized how much I felt alone until this moment.</p>
<p>"Shh... that's it let it out, I'm here." The Doctor coos in my ear as to rearranges us so we are lying down, me curled into a ball and she holds me close. "You don't have to tell me now, I'm here when your ready." We lie like this for awhile, me crying into her chest as she rub soothing circles in me back. As my sobs turn to quite wimpers, I wipe my eyes and uncurl myself form the Doctor. </p>
<p>"Sorry" I say looking away embarrassed. She lightly takes my chin in her hand and lifts my face to look up at her. She smiles sadly at me.</p>
<p>"Don't be, it's OK to cry when your hurting and if you're not ready to talk that's Ok too." I smile back the best I can and she releases my chin from her grib. With that she move to get off the bed. I'm filled with a sudden loss of warmth and I need for her here.</p>
<p>"Will you lie with me...please?" I ask reaching to stop her from moving back to the window. The Doctor nods in response but heads to the bathroom, coming out a moment later with what looks like an arm brace.</p>
<p>"It will help, with the pain, should help you sleep a little easier." I let her take my hand and place it in the brace. It restrict my movement abit but does help with the pain. "The stent will cool if your arm begins to swell." She smiles at me and lowers herself onto the bed. Calmness settles over me as the doctor wraps her arms around me once more. </p>
<p>The Doctor rubs small circles on the back of my good hand as I fall into a restful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. This is how things should be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I groan slightly as i opened my eye, expecting bright light to flood my eyes. I doesn't. I look around and slowly the events of the night before come back to me. My pissing O off, me running to The Doctor, waking up. Shit! I turn around and find The Doctor still passed out beside me. She looks so peaceful sleeping, the cogs in her head stopped. When shes sleeping her quiet beauty become radiant. No, stop you can't think like that, your with O and you love him. What am I going to do? I've just spent the night with somebody else. If O ever found out...</p>
<p>I take a few deep breaths to calm down. There is nothing I can do now, I just have to hope O never finds out. I slip out of The Doctors bed and change into my clothes from the night before. I take a moment to undo the brace The Doctor put on my arm last night. I soreness in my arm return immediately but I can't take this home, O would start asking question I don't have answers to. How can I tell him I travel through time and space in a police box that's bigger on the inside. He'd think I'd gone mad.</p>
<p>I leave the brace in the bathroom and slip out of the TARDIS. The morning air is bitter cold as I head back to the flat, I'll have to call in sick today. There's no way I can go on the beat with my arm how it is. Plus Sunders would just ask questions. I send him a text and let him know I won't be in because I let O cook and he gave me food poisoning. It will give the lads at the station a good laugh and hopeful it will stop them asking too many questions.</p>
<p>It's about 7:30 when I get back to the flat so O already headed off to work. The flat is in utter cranage when I walk in. It looks like O didn't take kindly to me walking out. I can't blame him really, I was in the wrong after all.</p>
<p>There's shattered glass all over the kitchen floor, more so than when I left. One of the dining room chairs has been thrown across our living room and seems to of knocked a couple of the pictures off the wall. I walk into our bedroom to find that all of my clothes have been slung into the middle of the floor. </p>
<p>Well I might as well start tidying up. O's never going to forgive me if he has to be reminded of the mood I put him in. I start in the kitchen, making sure to get all of the glass up. My arms not really helping matters and I'm realizing I'm missing the brace The Doctor gave me. I wish I could of brought it with me but it would of just cause too many issues, anyway, it was my fault O was anergy. I guess I deserved it really, I mean I really was out of line telling him a clam down after what I did. </p>
<p>I look through the cupboard and find the basket we keep the painkillers in. Great, it looks like O washed them down the sink last night when he was anergy. There's nothing left in here but empty packets. He did this sometimes when I really pissed him off. It's not going to be easy to earn his forgiveness this time. Grace had always made sure she sent me home with a pack or two to tide me over, so it had never really been a issue before.</p>
<p>It not like The Doctor wouldn't have given me any if I had asked but I suppose I was just feeling guilty for having to run to her anyway. I guess I felt bad for O too. I'll just have to live with it for now, I can get some when I pop to the shop later. I'm going to cook O favorite tonight, Chicken Karahi, just the way Nani showed me to make it. He always smiles when I make it, even more so when I've gone down to the market and picked up fresh herbs.</p>
<p>
  <strong>NEW MESSAGE:-</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Doctor 🌑 - Hey Yaz, you OK? How come you ran off this morning?</strong>
</p>
<p>I look at my phone but put it away without responding. What was I supposed to say to her? 'Yeah sorry about last night, I was abit of a dick to O and when he called me up on it I ran off, then got into bed with you.' That's not a very good move really, The Doctor's already not buying my story. I just need to avoid her for afew day let things cool off. I'm sure she'll be distracted by the TARDIS soon enough and forget all about last night. </p>
<p>Even as I think that I know it's a lie, once The Doctor get hold of something she doesn't stop until she gets the truth. The problem is I'm not sure what the truth is myself. I know O loves me and I know I can be a right pain in the ass. I know thing aren't great but it's not all that bad. I see abuse cases more than most, in my line of work. Women find it easier to talk to a women in these cases so, I get them more than most but it's not like that with O. O's so sweet when I don't piss him off, I just need to focus more on us and less on work or The Doctor. If I do that, everything will be OK. </p>
<p>By the time O walks in the door at 5, I've clean up the flat the best I can and dinner is almost ready. I poke my head out the kitchen to great him. "Hi O, how was work? Dinner will be ready in a minute, do you want it at the table or just on our laps?" I fiddle with my fingers as he walk up to me. He pulls me into a quick hug causing my arm to flare with pain, but I don't mind really, at least he seems happier.</p>
<p>"Work was fine, busy, what's for dinner?" I sigh a little in relieve, he's not fully forgiven me yet but as least he seems clam at the moment.</p>
<p>"Chicken Karahi, I pop to the market earlier to get fresh herbs." O Smiles a little as he head into the living room kicking his shoe off as he goes. </p>
<p>"Lap's will be fine." He shouts over his shoulder. I walk back into the kitchen smiling to myself. I thought this would make him happy. I give the dinner a quick stir before picking up O's shoes and putting them by the door.</p>
<p>"Do you want a drink or anything babe?" I ask O walking into the living room with our dinner. O takes his dinner from me and shakes his head. I let myself relax a little as we settle down and watch TV as we eat. There's a comfortable silence between me and O as we eat. </p>
<p>Once we are both finished I take our plates away and tidy up the kitchen, taking care not to overfill the sink this time. I think O is starting to forgive me now. I've got a long way to go still but as least I'm making a good start. </p>
<p>Once I've cleaned up I head back into living room and sit down next to O. After a couple of minutes O turned me TV off and turns to face me. "Yaz, tonight been really nice." O starts, smiling as he talks. "I just wish it could be like this all the time." I look away slightly ashamed of myself. I know if I was like this all the time O wouldn't get like he did last night.</p>
<p>"I know and I'll try harder, I know last night was my fault, I'm really sorry." I apologise. O lightly lifts my head up so our eyes meet.</p>
<p>"I love you so much you know that right?" He asks</p>
<p>"Yeah I know and I love you too."</p>
<p>"You just make me so angry sometimes but i's only could I know you can be better."</p>
<p>"I know and I promise I'll be better, from now on you're my number one priority." O smiles at me and releases my chin, pulling me into a hug, again slightly crushing my arm but I can't complain when he's forgiven me so easily. O turns the telly on and we settle down, me in his warm embrace. This is how things should be. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Doctor comes to tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>5 NEW MESSAGES:-</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Doctor 🌑 - Hey Yaz, you OK? How come you ran off this morning?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Doctor 🌑 - Yaz, how's your arm? I can bring the brace over if you need it.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Doctor 🌑 - Yaz...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Ryan 😂 - Yaz, you OK, The Doctors worried. Can you sent her a text.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Graham 🥪- You Ok? The Docs getting really worried, what's happened?</strong>
</p>
<p>It's been days since I've spoken to any of my friends but it's the happiest I've seen O in a very long time and that makes it worth it. I know there worried but everything is fine, I just need to focus on O then we can be happy.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>
  <strong>MEANWHILE (On the TARDIS)</strong>
</p>
<p>The Doctor sits on her window seat staring out at the stars. She's found herself doing this more often these past few days. Phone by her side restless to hear from Yaz. The Doctor wasn't sure what truly had her worried, there was not doubt in her mind that there was something Yaz wasn't telling her but not know made everything worse.</p>
<p>To begin with she just got back to work, tried to take her mind off it. This is there lives on earth, best not to involved she told herself but soon enough her mind wandered back to Yaz. Maybe a quick text would be fine. No reply.</p>
<p>The Doctor told herself that she was just busy and she'd respond later. The reply never came. She tried texting her a few more times before she started to think Yaz might be ignoring her. The thought hurt her more than she was expecting but she brushed it aside quickly fearing for Yaz more than caring about her emotions right now.</p>
<p>If Yaz wasn't going to respond to her maybe she would respond to the rest of the fam. With that The Doctor decides that she'd ask Graham and Ryan if either of them had seen her in the past few day's. If they had, it would put her mind at ease a little.</p>
<p>
  <b>Doctor 🌑 - Hey Ryan, You seen Yaz recently, she's not answering my texts?</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <strong>Ryan 😂 - Not since we came home, but she'll be shacked up with O no doubt. When we come home she spends all her time locked away it that flat of theirs. I'm sure she'll answer you soon.</strong></b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Doctor 🌑 - I'm just a little worried do you mind texting her for me?"</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Ryan 😂 - Sure but what's making you worry?</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Doctor 🌑 - I don't want to worry you really but she came back to the TARDIS your first night back.</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Ryan 😂 - I'll text her now, I'll make sure grandad does too. She just to come stop here sometime too, ma gran never told me why.</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Doctor 🌑 - Thanks Ryan and don't let on you know about her stopping</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Ryan 😂 - I won't don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>As much as Ryan had told The Doctor not to worry, she couldn't help herself. It wasn't helping matters that she had also ignored both Ryan and Grahams messages too.</p>
<p>After the fourth day with no reply, The Doctor was ready to explode with worry.</p>
<p>That's it I'm going over, I need to know she's OK.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>It's my day off today so a told O I'd sort the flat out today, change the bed and just make sure the place was looking nice for when he got home. These past few day have been amazing and I want to keep it like that. </p>
<p>I'm just changing the sheets when there's a buzz on the intercom. It must just be something O ordered so I let them into the building with even bothering to check, I've got far too much to do today. Soon after there's a knock at the door and I open it. To my surprise it's not the delivery guy at all, but The Doctor. So much for avoiding her then. "Hey" I say opening the door a little wider to let her in. </p>
<p>"Hey, I was getting a little bored on the TARDIS on my own so thought I'd come see you." She smiles at me as she walks in. "Nice place! You're not busy are you?" She questions.</p>
<p>"Just sorting the flat out, really, nothing special." I answer as she turns to look at me.</p>
<p>"I'll help if you like, I'm alright at cleaning actually." I snot a little at that, I've seen the mess she makes when she does anything, I'm not sure I've ever really seen her tidy. "What? I am!"</p>
<p>"Don't forget I've seen your workshop." I smirk at her.</p>
<p>"It's organized chaos!" She defends. I smile softly at her as she pouted.</p>
<p>"Fine, you can give me a hand with the sheets." I say leading her into my bedroom. The fitted sheet is half on the bed but has pinged off two corners.</p>
<p>"If you grab 1 corned I'll get the other." I say walking round the bed. The Doctor nods and heads to the operisite corner off the bed. As we both pull on the corners on the fitted sheet I wince slightly as I catch my bad arm. The Doctor stops and makes her way towards me. "I'm fine, it's nothing really." She looks at me softly.</p>
<p>"Will you let me see?" I shake my head no, It will just lead to more questions I don't have answers to. "Please, no questions I swear." I sigh but lift the sleve of my jumper up carefully. It doesn't look as bad as it did a few days ago but it was still swollen and sore. The bruises had faded into a soft greeny yellow. The Doctor slowly takes my arm and examines it closely. </p>
<p>After a minute she loosens her grip on my arm and sits down on the mattress. "You need to rest your arm Yaz, it's not going to get any better overwise, have you thought about putting it in a sling?"</p>
<p>"It's not so bad now and I don't want to worry O." I say dropping down next to her.</p>
<p>"You haven't told him?" She questions.</p>
<p>"No, I didn't want to worry him, like I said it's not so bad." It's not a total lie really, I don't want to worry him. O never liked it when I complained about what happened on our bad nights. He said it was like I was blaming him when it was my fault. It just made him angrier, so after our bad nights I make sure to cover up any damage I caused.</p>
<p>"Let me finish the bed you go sit down." The Doctor says shooing me into the living room as she finishes the bed.</p>
<p>Once the Doctor had finished the bed she makes us both tea and we sit on the sofa watching TV, everytime I try to move to do anything she reminds me my arm won't heal and if I won't put a sling on it she'll make me rest it as least for abit.</p>
<p>After about a hour I try to get up and make dinner but a look from The Doctor stops me. "Look I still need to make dinner, O will be home soon and I've not even done half the stuff I said I'd get done today." It hit me then that I wasn't sure how O would react to that. Ok maybe I know he's not going to be happy and he's right, I let myself get distracted by the Doctor again.</p>
<p>"Fine, but at least let me help." She said getting off the sofa with me to head to the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Do you know how to cook?" I asked thinking about how I've never seen her cook in any way.</p>
<p>"I once cooked a turkey using the TARDIS, how different can it be?" I roll my eyes at her, that is something I'll ask about another time. Right now I need to focus on getting dinner ready by the time O comes home. He's not going to be happy with me as it is.</p>
<p>"Maybe you should just stick to the chopping?" I say smiling at her as I pass her the veg.</p>
<p>"That might be a good idea." She agrees with me.</p>
<p>It's about half an hour later when the door slams shut behind O. On instinct alone I flinch, this can't be good. Its not very often he's like this when he gets in from work. </p>
<p>"Hey babe, how was your day?" I ask trying not to sound as if I'm nervous. He always hated it when I sounded nervous.</p>
<p>"Fine, when's dinner, I'm starving." He snaps, kicking off his shoes and throwing his coat at me. I pick up his coat and shoe, putting them away. It's not until I head back to the kitchen I remember The Doctor's still here.  She looks at me with sorrow in her eye's for a second before it's gone.</p>
<p>"What's up with him?" She asks me, voice full of fake happiness.</p>
<p>"Nothing, probably a bad day at work that all." I say trying to keep my voice even.</p>
<p>"Yaz, I thought I told you I wanted dinner when I got home not 3 hours later again." I jump slightly but head straight back to the dinner plating it up. Once my back is turned The Doctor sneaks past me and heads into the living room.</p>
<p>"Hi, I'm The Doctor. Sorry to barge in like this, thought I'd come for a coffee with my friend." In that moment O's face changes in a instant. A happy smile plastered on his face. </p>
<p>"It's lovely to meet you Doctor?" He pushes for her last name.</p>
<p>"Just The Doctor." She says in response. She seems rather cool towards O and it worries me a little. I walk out of the kitchen with both mine and O dinners.</p>
<p>"The Doctor was just leaving... Weren't you Doctor?" I say hoping she'll get the hint.</p>
<p>I place both our plates down and show The Doctor out. As we get to the front door The Doctor looks be over one last time. "You OK?" She asks me.</p>
<p>"Yh 'cause." I say back hoping I sound convincing. The Doctor romages in her pocket for a second and pulls out a single brass key.</p>
<p>"Here." She say placing the key into the palm of my hand.</p>
<p>"Is this... to the TARDIS?" I ask is hushed tones as to not upset O anymore than I already had. The Doctor only nods and closes my palm around the key. With that I close the door and head back to face O.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I Don't Like The Friend Of Yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As me and O eat, he says nothing to me. It unnerves me when he's like this, I know he's about to explode but I'm not sure when. I feel like every move I make he's watching me. Why won't he say anything? He has more than enough to be pissed off about. The flats in a state, I've not even put the hover away yet he's still waiting. I don't like it.</p>
<p>Once we're finished he puts his plate on the table and says nothing to me. I take the hint and head to the kitchen to tidy up. I try to tidy up quietly, not sure what will set him off, I know I deserve it but still, the mood O's in makes me wonder how far he might go. </p>
<p>I've almost finished in the kitchen when O walk through the door. He leans against the worktop and watches as I dry up the last of the dishes. "I don't like that friend of yours." He says as I put the last of the dishes away.</p>
<p>"Why what's wrong with her?" I ask, I've never met anyone as impressive as The Doctor and even when she's not here I'll defend her, She's like the best person I've ever met.</p>
<p>"What was she doing here Yaz, snoping about, hiding in the kitchen?" He questions, ignoring my comment.</p>
<p>"She wasn't hiding, she came round to see me that's all, she was helping me with dinner." I reply, I'm not having him lay into her.</p>
<p>"If she was helping with dinner. Why does it looks like nothing else has been done around here?" He snots at me, stepping closer to me until I'm pressed up against the sink.</p>
<p>"She just came round for tea, I lost track of time, I'm sorry O but she only came round because I hadn't spoken to her or Ryan for a few day, it's not m fault they were worried." I snap back, I not losing all my friends, I need a life of my own.</p>
<p>"Bet she's who you ran too, wasn't she? Oh Doctor, look at what mean old O's done, isn't he the worst." He mocks me. I say nothing looking away ,remembering how I woke up in bed with her just a couple of nights ago. O cocks his eyebrow and grabs my chin so I'm forced to look at him. </p>
<p>A moment later he removes his hand and walks to the other side of the kitchen, keeping his eye trained on the countertop in front of him. I don't dare move, too afraid of what he'll do next. Of cause he's right that a ran straight to The Doctor, maybe this is all my fault, If I had just stayed here that night, The Doctor wouldn't of been worried and she wouldn't of come looking for me.</p>
<p>"I don't ask alot Yaz, do I? I just want to come home to a nice clean flat and eat dinner. I don't think I'm asking for much, do you?" I steady me breathing and walk carefully over to him.</p>
<p>"No I your right but" A crack fill the room as I stumble backwards clutching my lip. It's not until I look at him that I see the ladle in his hand.</p>
<p>"Don't you look at me like that!" He shouts, rage suddenly consumes me.</p>
<p>"Why not? You've just hit me again." O grabs me by my bad arm squeezing as he pulls me to the floor.</p>
<p>"Yes. Because. It's. The. Only. Way. That. You. Learn." Each word punctuated with a kick to my stomach. I retch slightly as bile burns my throat. O lets me catch my breath slightly before pulling me up by my hair and throwing me against the wall. I feel a small trickle of blood seep down my face as my head explodes in pain.</p>
<p>"O stop, please your hurting me!" I beg, hoping he might listen. He lets go of my hair, ensuring I drop to the floor, for a second I think he's stopped, that it's over. A second later I feel something smash into my back over and over, pain shoots through my back and I let out a scream in agony. "Please O, I'm sorry, please stop I can't take any more." O doesn't relent, he just keeps striking my back until I collapse on the floor, nearly passed out. He drops whatever he was holding and lifts me up by the back of the neck, dragging me towards the front door.</p>
<p>There a spots in the vision and I'm not sure I can stay conscious for too much longer. We're just be the front door when O releases my neck causing me me crumple to the floor. He leans down next to whispers to me. "Go on then, run to your Doctor, let's see how long it is before you come crawling back." With that he opened the door and kicks me out into the corridor, slamming the door behind me.</p>
<p>It takes me a moment to realize that it's over, everything hurts, my head most of all. He's right of cause the only place I can go like this is to The Doctor. I slowly stand up, leaning on the wall for support as I limp my way to the lift. </p>
<p>Once I'm outside it vaguely notice that I didn't have any shoes or a coat. I need to get to the TARDIS now.</p>
<p>I'm not sure how long it's taken me but as I round the corner I see it. That wonderful blue box. My vision is getting worse now, black spots dancing, growing bigger by the second. I lean heverly on the doors to the TARDIS as I dig around in my pocket for the key the doctor gave me. </p>
<p>I finally find it but can't seem to control my hand well enough to get the key in the door. My legs buckle under me and I prepare myself to hit the solid gravel beneath me. The hit never comes, Instead I see The Doctors arm reach out to grab me just before I fall. "Doctor...I... I'm sorry." I stutter out before falling unconscious in her arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Guilt and Blame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor sits alone in the console room, picking at the dirt under her fingernails. I should of done something, said something, anything. She thinks to herself. Yaz could be in danger right now. She looks at her phone again, hoping there would be an news, a text at least letting me know she was Ok. Nothing comes, why would it? The Doctor gets up and begins to pace around the console.</p>
<p>She hates to admit it but she has a soft spot for Yaz, ever since she first set eyes on her on the train. Even when they were in the tightest of spots, she would look at Yaz and know everything was going to be Ok. She always thought Yaz was so strong, never fearing anything that came across their path but looking back know the Doctor thinks of all the times she's dropped them all back home. The slight flicker of fear in Yaz's eye, gone in a moment but there nevertheless. The Doctor had alway thought nothing of it, maybe she was being selfish, she didn't want to see it then if she had maybe.</p>
<p>A slight knock on the TARDIS doors stops that train for thought in it tracks. Any other day she would have ignored it but tonight she was on high alert. She runs straight to the doors and opened them wide just in time to catch Yaz as she falls. "Doctor...I... I'm sorry." She stutters before falling into unconsciousness. The Doctor swiftly pick Yaz up holding her close to her chest. She all but runs to the medical bay laying Yaz on the first bed she gets to. </p>
<p>It's not until this moment that the Doctor gets a chance to take a good look to Yaz. There's a gash just above her left temple about an inch long and her lip it split open but has start to crust over now. The Doctor calms herself before carefully removing Yaz's jumper, leaving her in just a skinny vest top. She gasps as she looks down at Yaz's arm, the yellowing bruising from before has now been covered with fresh painfully looking black ones. She steels herself as she slowly lifts up Yaz's top just far enough to see her stomach. Again the Doctor is taken aback by the dark purple bruises forming there.</p>
<p>The Doctor pulls her sonic out of her pocket and runs a full medical check on her. Her brown frowns as the readings begin to come back, two cracked ribs, a concussion and severe bruising to the back and stomach.</p>
<p>Firstly she knows she needs to deal with the gash on Yaz's left temple first. She heads to the supply cupboard and pulls out the needle and thread pausing briefly to pick up and anaesthetic patch. The Doctor heads back over to Yaz, placing the anaesthetic patch on her right shoulder. She begins to clean the gash on Yaz's head before fixing a row of 6 neat stitches, closing the wound gently.</p>
<p>Once the immediate danger was over the Doctor took a moment to collapse into a nearby chair, putting her head into her hands as the adrenaline subsides and her hearts begin to beat out a steady beat once more. Yaz was safe now, that's all that mattered.</p>
<p>The Doctor heads back to the supply cupboard and collects a roll and bandages and the brace she had placed on Yaz's arm a few short nights ago. She begins by placing Yaz's arm in the brace, after that she genterly lives Yaz into a sitting position. Once the Doctor has lifted Yaz's top up she cringes as the bruises forming neat lines along her back, the Doctor didn't think she wanted to know what had caused them. She cautiously feels for which ribs had been cracked then wraps them tightly with that bandages. There is nothing more she can do now. </p>
<p>The anaesthetic patch should keep her sedated until morning. The Doctor lowers herself slowly into the chair, letting her eye fall shut.</p>
<p>
  <em>The Doctor stood back in Yaz's kitchen as the front door slams shut with such force. She see's Yaz physically flinch away from it.</em>
</p>
<p>The Doctors eye shoot open as she looks around panicked, eyes finally focusing on the broken girl infront of her. If only I had thought, I could of stopped any of this from happening, this is all my fault. The Doctor thought as she leans forwards in there chair, placing her hands over her face once more.</p>
<p>"Oh, Yaz you sweet brilliant women. I will keep you safe now, you have my word on that." The Doctor slowly leans forwards and presses her lips genterly on Yaz's forehead. She leans back slightly in her chair but unable to sleep, fear and guilt forming in the pit of her stomach.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. It was my fault...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My eyes flicker open and I'm confused for a few seconds before the previous nights events come back to me. My limbs feel numb and unresponsive, I moan slightly which gets the Doctors attention. She's sitting on a chair nexts to the bed I'm lying on, fiddling with a loose thread on her coat. She looks up at me and smiles kindly at me. "It's OK the anaesthetic patch will take a minute to register you're awake. Once it does you should feel better." The Doctor explains, rising from the chair and stepping closer to the bed.</p>
<p>After a minute I start to regain feeling in my limbs, the patch only leaving a slight tingle in my fingers and toes. I try to lift myself up into a sitting position but fall back down hissing at the pain around my middle. "I can help if you like?" The Doctor offers, I nod slightly and she manoeuvres me gently until I am sat upright leaning against the frame of the bed. </p>
<p>"Sorry...Thanks" I pant slightly embarrassed by how useless I am right now, if O were here I'd have been up and about by now. A bad night is no excuse, if I hadn't pissed him off I'd be fine.</p>
<p>"It's OK... How you feeling?" The Doctor asks.</p>
<p>"A bit sore but yh I'm OK... I'll get out your way in a minute. Sorry I didn't mean to disturb you again..." I shuffle myself down the bed and am about to swing me leg's over to get up when the Doctor places her hand on my shoulder softly. Although she was gently I could help but flinch at the gesture. The Doctor retracts her hand slowly looking hurt for a tiniest moment before it gone.</p>
<p>"You didn't disturb me Yaz, I was glad you came to me... Please don't go back there." Her eyes look so sorrowful, light reflects off the unshed tears in her eyes. I look down at the floor no longer wanting to look at her, knowing the pain I've cause her by coming here. If only I didn't screw everything up all the time, none of this would have happened. I could stay here, hide in the TARDIS for a while longer but what then? O was right of cause, I will alway crawl back to him because I love him and I have nowhere else to go. I can't go back to my parents, they'd tell me to go back, they really do approve of O. What's not to approve of really? He got a good job, he's sweet and kind, everything you could ask for in a man really. Other than that there's no one I'd be able to go to. O doesn't really like my friends so I sort of lost contact with most of them. Going back is my only option.</p>
<p>"I don't have a choice, where else would I go?" I question playing with a brace on my arm, still not looking at the Doctor. She sighs out the corner of my eye I see her step back and lean against a table with medical equipment scattered atop it. She covers her face with her hands before speaking again.</p>
<p>"Look what he's done Yaz, I've been soldiers come back from battle with less wounds. Please stay, just one more night at least... get your strength back." She's right that I need rest, I give her a small nod and she relaxes slightly.</p>
<p>"One more night but please don't make me stay in the medical bay tonight, it reminds me too much of the hospital." I say looking up at her, she smiles at me again. It's a kind smile, the same one I uses when I have to interview a victim at work.</p>
<p>"Deal, but I want you to rest, propally OK?" I nod again, knowing the Doctor will insist on total bed rest but I'm not really going to complain. If I'm being honest with myself, I've not been sleeping all to well since we came home. I've been too worried about upsetting O to really relax. "Would my room be OK? I've still not got around to reinstating yours and the others room's yet."</p>
<p>"Yh, that's fine, anywhere but here works for me." I smile swinging my legs over the bed and with the help of the Doctor rise to my feet. The Doctor helps me to her bedroom. It takes longer than it normally would because everytime I move my back feels like it's burning.</p>
<p>Once we've made it to the Doctors room I excuse myself and head to the bathroom. As I look at myself in the mirror I feel bile rise and burn the back of my throat, I look a mess. There's a row of neat stitches just below my temple and my lip is swollen, tinted blue around the edges. I gingerly lift the hem of my vest top up, to see a myriad of bruises diserparing under bandages. I quickly lower my top, not wanting to look anymore.</p>
<p>The Doctor helps me to the bed, ensuring that I am as comfortable as I can be. "Do you want me to stay?" She asks me. I'm not sure why but I feel safe when she's here and right now I need that.</p>
<p>"As long as you're sure, I mean... I know you dropped us off so you could sort things on the TARDIS... I mean Graham and Ryan will be wondering what's taking so long and..." I tail off when the Doctor slowly lifts her hand and heads over to the window seat.</p>
<p>"I'm sure, everything else can wait." With that we fall into a comfortable silence, me in the bed, her looking out at the stars. </p>
<p>It's about half an hour later before I break the silence. "It was my fault." I say, I'm facing the Doctor as she look out at the same spot she has been since she sat down. She turns to face face, a question in her eyes. "I told O I'd have everything done when he got home... I lost track of time."</p>
<p>"So what... He punished you?" She questioned, a tone of disbelief in her voice.</p>
<p>"It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't of gotten anergy back, after that I think he just lost control." I say, staring at a spot on the wall behind the Doctor. "I just don't want you to think I'm some blameless victim... really I deserved it."</p>
<p>The Doctor gets up from where she's sitting and kneels beside me, taking my hand in hers. "No Yaz, you never deserved any of this... please I know you don't believe me now but trust me, none of this was your fault.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. How Long?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Yaz, I know your there, still hiding with your little Doctor? How long until she's sick of you?"</em>
</p>
<p>My eyes shoot open and I bolt up right, regretting it the second my body bursts into pain. The Doctors up from her spot in a moment, holding me until the pain slowly ebbed away. "Sorry" I say into the Doctor's shoulder. She pulls away and looks me over.</p>
<p>"It's OK, it's what I'm her for... What happened?" She asks me. How can I explain to her that I can hear O in my head. She'll think I've gone mad.</p>
<p>"It was nothing, sorry again for well... You know." I gesture to the bed hoping she understands what I mean. She smiles kindy at me.</p>
<p>"No need at apologise, Yaz. Do you think you can go to sleep again?" I'm not really sure if I can, everytime I try to sleep I hear O and I know everything he's saying is true and it just makes everything harder. Maybe I should just go back now, I must be getting under the Doctor feet by now, plus she's not been able to get anything done today because of me. I must of taken too long to answer her as she speaks again. "Would it help if I lay down with you?"</p>
<p>I'm not sure why, but I nod. The Doctor smiles at me as she takes off her coat and braces off before lying down next to me. I painfully lower myself back down so I've facing the Doctor. I feel a wave of guilt hid me. She shouldn't have to do this, it isn't fair on this marvelous women. "I'm sorry I got you involved, none of this is fair on you." I say, she looks at me confused.</p>
<p>"Not fair on me? I'm glad you came to me Yaz, don't ever be afraid to come to me... with anything. The only person this isn't fair on is you."</p>
<p>"It's not that bad... he just lost control this time." I try to explain to her. "I just need to try harder, then we can go back to how it used to be."</p>
<p>"You shouldn't have to Yaz..."</p>
<p>"I just let things slip, it's my fault really." There's a few minutes of silence as we both start to think. I turn around and look out at the stars the Doctor seems to love so much, she puts a arm around me loosely and begin to play with my hair.</p>
<p>"How long?" She asks me and I have to think.</p>
<p>"18 months... It was the day I finished my police training. I'd gone out with a few of the others and gotten a little drunk. I was being stupid, I didn't even think to text O and tell him I'd be back late. When I came home he got anergy, said he'd been worried sick. I started getting mouthy. He...He pushed me, I hit my head on the side of the bookcase, it wasn't that bad... And he apologised after said it would never happen again."</p>
<p>"But it did happen again didn't it?" I nod "Why'd you stay with him?"</p>
<p>"Because I loved him."</p>
<p>"Loved?" She questioned</p>
<p>"Love I meant love. If I had just texted him maybe... Maybe we could have just been happy all this time." I hear the Doctor sigh before she speaks again.</p>
<p>"Or maybe he would have found something else to justify it. You are so strong Yaz but you don't need to be. I'll be here day and night, whenever you need me... I'm here." I nod again and move closer to her, letting her warmth lull me to sleep. </p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>The Doctor stay lying on the bed, listening for the evening out of Yaz's breath in indicate she had truly gone back to sleep. To say the Doctor was scared was a understatement, for the first time in a long time she didn't know what to do for the best. She knows she can't force Yaz to choose, if she did all she'd be doing is pushing her away but the thought of her being hurt again seem unbearable. There were no god choices here, she either had to push Yaz or watch as O attacked her.</p>
<p>'I just have to make sure she know she can come here when she needs to and when she's here, try to make her see that she doesn't have to go back.' The Doctor thought to herself. 'I'll make sure she has everything prepared just incase he... 'punishes' her.' The Doctor hated even the thought that she was doing this, letting this sweet, brave, wonderful women go back there but she knew this wasn't her decision to make.</p>
<p>The Doctor closes her eye, ready to get some rest herself.</p>
<p>
  <em>The Doctor stood back in Yaz's kitchen as the front door slams shut with such force. She see's Yaz physically flinch away from it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz is stood in her flat, slightly drunk arguing with O. He pushes her into the bookcase, Yaz cries out.</em>
</p>
<p>The Doctor opens her eyes and bring Yaz a little closer. She gives up on the idea of sleeping again tonight, she's not sure she'll ever get those inamages out of her head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Stay...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Here, take these." The Doctor says as she hands me a bottle of pills. "Just take one hen you need it. It can't help you heal quicker but it should help with the pain." I take the pills, slipping them in my pocket as the Doctor runs around to the other side of the console. "I've programed a perception filter into the brace, it won't make it invisible, just unnoticed. If you keep your jumper on when you wear it, you should be fine." She slips the brace onto my arm. I smile at her nervously. "And you've got your key, yeah?"</p>
<p>"Yeah" I look away from her fiddling with the brace. </p>
<p>"Are you sure I can't get you some shoes or a coat... the TARDIS has a whole wardrobe hall it's no bother really..."</p>
<p>"No... it's fine, O would well... he'd ask question I can't answer and..." My sentence drops off, we both know what I mean.</p>
<p>"You don't have to go." The Doctor says playing with the sleeve on her coat. "I mean, it so early in the day... I could make breakfast, I once made Pythagoras waffle after a messy night. Me, Pythagoras, two zygons and a cybermans head, ended up in..."</p>
<p>"Doctor." I cut her rambling off, if I don't leave soon O will of gone to work, then there's no hope of me getting back into the flat. "I have to, need to make sure I'm home before O leaves for work... No key remember?" She closes her mouth, unsure of what to say.</p>
<p>"I could drop you off?" She tries. I shake my head smiling at her slightly.</p>
<p>"And how would I explain how I got in?" A silence settles over the console room, even the TARDIS seems to quite.</p>
<p>If I'm being honest with myself I'm scared to go home, I'm not sure what I'm going to find. I'm not sure what I'm more scared of, O being angry and lashing out again or the idea that I could go home and find it empty. As much as O scares me sometimes I still love him and the idea of him not being there makes me feel sick. Is this what pushed him away from me forever? Have I ruined the best thing in my life?</p>
<p>"Promise me you'll call me if he..." The Doctor breaks the silence. It's not until now that I notice how tried she looks, her hair falls too limp around her face and dark circles have started to develop under her eyes.</p>
<p>"I'll be fine." I reply rather unconvincingly even to myself.</p>
<p>I give the Doctor one last smile before turning towards the door. I take a deep breath as I lift my hand up towards the latch. My hand is trembling and biles burning the back of my throat again. I don't want to go back there. I tired of feeling scared and alone, I know I can't stay here forever but going back might kill me. What if O really does go too far this time and I can't get out?</p>
<p>I'm frozen in place, tears begin to well in my eyes but I blink them away before they fall. </p>
<p>I let my hand drop down again before I turn to face the Doctor once more. "I... I can't do it." I whisper, tears finally begin to fall lightly down my face. The Doctor comes up to me and pulls me lightly into a hug. I bury me face into her shoulder and begin to sob loudly. All the pain of the past few months finally catching up with me.</p>
<p>The Doctor leads me over the steps and sits me down letting me rest my head on her shoulder as my sobs slowly clam to sniffles.</p>
<p>The Doctor's looking over towards the console unit, lost in thought. "You can stay here as long as you like, I'll reinstate your room, you don't have to go back there if you don't want to." I nod my head, not trusting myself to speak without bursting into tears again. </p>
<p>We sit in silence for what feels like forever, the doctors twin heartbeats grounding me. I wish there was a way for me to put in to words how much she's helped me but there are no words in the universe that can.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Doctor." Is all I can manage to say. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Useless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Ryan 😂 - Have you heard from Yaz?</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Ryan 😂 - She not answering me or grandad.</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Graham 🥪- She's not picking up Doc, maybe one of us should go check on her?</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Ryan 😂 - I've just gone to the station, she phoned in sick.</strong>
  </b>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Graham 🥪- Maybe you should go check on her?</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We're in the console room, the Doctors lying under the console with wires sticking out all over the place, while I'm sat on the step, passing her tools as she asks for them. I just about managed to convince her I didn't need to go lie down. It feels like all I've done recently, It's good to be up and doing something for a change.</p>
<p>The Doctors phone goes off again. "Can you pass that to me Yaz?" She asks as she brushes the wires to the side and removes her goggles.</p>
<p>I pass her phone over, the Doctors face drops. "Who is it?" I ask.</p>
<p>"It's Ryan and Graham, I ask them if they'd seen you before I popped round the other day. There getting worried, what do you want me to tell them?" My heart sink a little as the through of the boy's knowing any of this. It's bad enough the Doctor knowing really, but how much of it can I hide?</p>
<p>"Let them know I'm here and I'm fine. My phones still at the flat." I know Ryan's going to want of information than that, he's going to ask why? "Can you just tell them me and O had a row? I just don't want to worry them with..." I look down unable to say the words. The Doctor gets up from her spot on the floor and brings me into a loose hug.</p>
<p>"Of course, you don't have to explain anything you're not ready to." She reassures me. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Doctor 🌑 - Sorry you two, it been a busy day or so, Yaz is fine, she's here with me. Her and O had a row. Nothing to worry about.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She shows me the message before she sends it to make sure I'm happy with it. I give her a quick nod. "Tea?" I ask plastering a smile on my face. The Doctor returns my smile with a smiler one of her own.</p>
<p>"Yes, Yasmin Khan now you're talking my language, I'll just finish up, meet you in the kitchen?" I nod and turn towards the kitchen.</p>
<p>Once I'm out of site, I let my shoulders sag and lean against the wall. My whole body still aches but I don't want to worry the Doctor. I see her looking at me sometimes and there's so much sadness in her eyes. As soon as she's seen me looking it gone but I know it still there. </p>
<p>I take a moment to look myself over, glently lifting the hem of my shirt up. The bruises are begin to fade from stormy blues and blacks to a reddish yellow colour, my ribs and back are still very sore but I wouldn't expect them to feel better just yet. There's nothing more that can be done, I just need to get on with it, if I'd gone back home I'd of been up and about before now. </p>
<p>I make my way to the kitchen and flick the kettle on, pulling two mugs out the cupboard. As I wait for the kettle to boil my mind begins to wonder. I know I should be doing more for the Doctor while I stay here, afterall she's hiding me from my boyfriend, which she doesn't have to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I've just woken up and my head is pounding. The night before me and O had a fight over my hours changing, I'd gotten a bit gobby and really wound him up. Lets just say he shut me up in the end.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I get up and head into the living room, all of my work stuff has been pushed off the table and now lies in a pile on the floor, it must of knocked a mug off too as shards are littered across the floor. I get to work tidying up the mess and clearing away the mug. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Once everything cleared up off the floor I head over to source of my headache, a spot on the wall just below the clock. I wince as I see a smear of my fondation marking the wall.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yaz, earth to Yaz..." The Doctors voice pulls me out of the thoughts.</p>
<p>"Sorry." I say turn back around to finish making the tea. She comes up beside my and sit on the kitchen side, studying me.</p>
<p>"What's up?" She questions as I finish her tea and hand it to her.</p>
<p>"Nothing really." I say deciding to probably easier to sit at the table rather than on the side next to the Doctor. She gives me questioning look, undoing my resolve, I've never been very good at disappointing her. "I was just thinking about how useless I've been recently. Like before, I'd just get on with things but now I'm barely able to do anything." We both take a sip of our tea and let my words hang.</p>
<p>"You're healing, give yourself a little time." The Doctor answers me.</p>
<p>"But even before when I was healing, I'd just carry on. All of a sudden, I feel... useless." I turn away from the Doctor as she slides off the side and comes to join me at the table.</p>
<p>The Doctor takes my hand in hers. "I'm going to guess O didn't take to kindly to resting?" She asks me as I turn to face her again but keep my eyes trained on her mug. </p>
<p>"If I hadn't pissed him off, I wouldn't have needed to... I just wanted to make things right between us. I know it sounds silly but it's true... I always seemed to be able to push his button even when I wasn't trying to." </p>
<p>"You can do as little or as much as you like here Yaz, whatever you feel comfortable with but just promise me if you're in pain you'll tell me, so I can help." I nod and try to smile at her but I'm not sure how convincing it is. She smiles back, putting her hand in her pocket and pulling out a packet of painkillers, leaving them on the table.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Get Out Of My Head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"It's time to come home now, this game has gone on long enough. You can't hide forever." O voice is in my head again. "Don't you miss me?" </em>
  <em>Visions appear in my mind.</em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm sat across from O, we're at dinner in a little italian place. He's smiling at me so wide and innocent as he feeds me spoon fulls of  pudding. We ignore the looks we get off the other tables as we begin to laugh far too loudly.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm curled up into O chest as he holds me close. It's the first night in our new flat together, he kisses me softly on the forehead.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Remember how happy we can be? It can be like this again, just come home baby."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm in our kitchen, O comes in holding flowers as I'm finishing off the dinner. He kisses me softly holding my cheek as he does.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>O's pulling me up by my hair. He throws me against the wall. There's so much hatred in his eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It's my birthday, O tried to bake me a cake but it didn't go very well. The icing is dripping onto the counter and the kitchen looks like a bombs hit it. We both laugh and agree maybe it best if I doing the cooking.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm on the floor in our bathroom, chunks of hair fall beside me. O locks the door.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My eyes shoot open and I takes me a moment to realize I'm alone. Images are still flooding into my head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>O's come to see me a work, I'm on a late shift. We walk back to the flat together, hand in hand. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I</em>
  <em>'m banging on the bathroom day, begging O to let me out.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I bring my hands up to my head and squeeze my eyes shut. "Stop it!" I mutter. My hands tighten around my hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>It's the first time O comes to meet my family. He's wearing his best shirt and had brought flowers for my Mum.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A plate comes flying towards my head, I duck out the way just in time.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Stop, get out of my head!" I scream. Why is this happening? I can hear my heart beating a mile a minute and I've began to hyperventilate. "Stop!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>O's planting kissing on the back of my neck as I try to clean up.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>My arms trapped as the door slams into it over and over again.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shhh. It's Ok, I've got you." I hear the Doctor voice now, she untangling my fingers from my hair "I need you to breathe Ok?" I try to take long slow breaths but my body is shaking. "That's it, you're doing so well Yaz, I've got you." I start to look around again, the images have stopped.</p>
<p>Once my breathing has evened out I uncurl myself, feeling all my aches protest. "Sorry... Did I wake you?" I ask, looking at the Doctor for the first time. She wearing a set of Blue and White striped pyjamas and her hairs sticking out in all sorts of directions. </p>
<p>"Don't worry about it, are you Ok?" She asks me, wiping the tears from under my eyes. I didn't even realize I had been crying.</p>
<p>"Yh, I'm OK." I say not quite sure how to explain any of this to her without her thinking I'm mad.</p>
<p>"What happened, nightmare?" She asks. For a moment I think about taking the easy way out, say yes, but then she gives me a looks with her big brown eyes.</p>
<p>"I know this is going to sound mad and you can tell me if I am but... I'm hear O, in my head. It's like he's really here but then all these memories appear, I know it sounds mad..." I trail off.</p>
<p>The Doctor pulls me into a light hug before she answers "Doesn't sound mad Yaz, will you let me see?" She asks holding her hand up to my temple. I nod biting my lip nervously. "I'm really sorry but I need you to think about what you saw, I'll be here the whole time and if you want me to stop just pull my hand away ok?" She explains. I nod again, closing my eyes guiding her through what I saw.</p>
<p>Once it's over The Doctors eyes flicker open and she pulls her hand away. I'm not sure what's going through her head now, her face in unreadable. "Doctor..." I say breaking the silence that had fallen over us. She looks over at me tears in her eyes as she pulls me into a hug.</p>
<p>"Oh Yaz, my brave, brave Yaz, I'm so sorry. If I'd of know I would of."</p>
<p>"It's not your fault Doctor, I got very good at hiding it." I pull away from her wiping her tears away as she did with mine. I never want to see her cry again. She looks so vulnerable, like a child. I breaks my heart. "Do you know what is was...how it's happening?" I question.</p>
<p>"No, but for now I can shield you from whatever it is." I look at her confused. "Being from a race that can go into each other minds, we learn how to shield ourselves at the Academy." I nod still not fully understanding but too tired to mind really. With that I let the Doctor crawl under the covers beside me.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>The Doctor lies awake next to Yaz, her mind still trying to process everything. She Knew these things had happened to Yaz, but to see them so clearly in front of her. The thing that stuck her the most was the wave of acceptance she felt wash over her, Yaz's emotions. How this beautiful woman beside her truly believed that she is to blame for this. </p>
<p>She tries to close her eyes to go to sleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>The Doctor stood back in Yaz's kitchen as the front door slams shut with such force. She see's Yaz physically flinch away from it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz is stood in her flat, slightly drunk arguing with O. He pushes her into the bookcase, Yaz cries out.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz is banging on the bathroom door, begging O to unlock it, chunks of her hair lie on the ground around her.</em>
</p>
<p>Her eyes shoot open again. The Doctor moves closer to Yaz, ensure she is still sound asleep. 'It can't be... It wouldn't hurt to check.' She thinks. After taking a deep breath, the Doctor closes her eyes once more and thinks one word. </p>
<p>'Contact'</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Pancakes and PJs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a connection, just for a second but she felt it, then it was gone. The Doctor knew it was unlikely to be a Time Lord, they're all trapped in a pocket universe. She knows that, but it felt like home. The Doctor knew there were many other telepathic species out there, Eternals, Silurians, the Ood but this contact had been like it was when she was a child. It couldn't be a Time Lord, she would had sensed them on earth long before now.</p>
<p>The Doctor didn't know, and she really didn't like not knowing.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>I open my eyes to find the Doctor already sat up in bed. She looked concerned about something, deep in thought. "Morning." I say getting her attention. </p>
<p>"Morning, How you feeling?" She asks me as I sit myself up in bed wincing slightly as I move.</p>
<p>"Yeah, Ok. How long you been up?" I reply, noticing the fact that her dark circles seem to be getting worse.</p>
<p>"Not too long." She lies, I give her a look of disbelief.</p>
<p>"Have you slept at all?" I ask guilt forming in the pit of my stomach.</p>
<p>"I slept a little." I admits, rubbing the back of her neck.</p>
<p>"Right, I'm going for a shower then I'll sort breakfast but I want you to try and get a little more sleep, Ok?" I tell her.</p>
<p>"There's no need Yaz, I'm fine really." She tries but as she does she begins to yawn, proving my point. "Ok... but not for too long." I smile at my victory. </p>
<p>We both get out of bed, me to head to my bathroom, the Doctor to go back to her own bed. </p>
<p>Once I'm in the bathroom, I take one of the pill's the Doctor gave me yesterday, she said it should help for the rest of the day. I begin undressing, taking care when removing my top. My arm has started to feel better and when I remove the brace, the bruising is a yellowish brown and no longer painful to touch. </p>
<p>I take care when removing the bandages around my ribs, they're still bruised badly but the Doctor had said they needed unwrapping today or they wouldn't heal correctly. I hold my breath for a moment before turning around to have a look at my back. I hadn't seen it yet and I was a little scared to, O had managed to crack two rib with whatever he was hitting me with and if I'm honest it's my back that's been hurting the most. </p>
<p>What I sees is a set of bruises forming neat lines along her back. I remember the feeling of whatever it was as it connected with her back, I sure she screamed. I shake my head this this pointless, nothing can be changed about it now, just carry on.</p>
<p>Once I've showered and gotten changed I pop my head into the Doctor's room to find her fast asleep in bed, snoring softly. I smile at the sight, quietly closing the door the again. </p>
<p>Once I'm in the kitchen I begin to pull out the ingredients for pancakes. This is the least I can do for the Doctor, she's help me so much the last few days. I hate seeing how tired she has become since I turned up. She thinks I haven't noticed, plays it down, but I see it when she thinks I'm not looking. Her eyes have started to lose focus when she's wiring and I've noticed she's started to lose her train for thought more often too.</p>
<p>Once I've gotten everything prepared I make my way back to the Doctors room, cup of steaming tea in hand. I shake her awake lightly and her eyes flutter open. She seem much most rested even after such a small amount of sleep. "Morning, here I've brought you some tea." I say handing it to her. She rubs the sleep from out of her eyes takes a sip.</p>
<p>"Thanks Yaz." She says, voice still raspy from sleep. If I'm being honest it suits her.</p>
<p>"Feeling better?"</p>
<p>"Yeah loads thanks, stravin though." </p>
<p>"Good thing I've sorted breakfast then, pancakes ok?" I ask her. She smiles in response almost jumping out of bed. She puts on a TARDIS blue dressing gown and matching grandad slippers. The slippers look like there about 3 sizes too big for her. "Grandad slipper Doctor, they don't even fit." I laugh. She looks down at her feet and smiles.</p>
<p>"Oi, I once fought the Sycorax on christmas day wear this, admittedly I did lose a hand, ended up with an old friend of mine actually." I roll my eyes at her a little but let her rambling continue. It's nice to see her back to normal. "Nice christmas that one, cracking dinner I ate so much. Then again had just regenerated so... sorry am I going on again?" I smile at her.</p>
<p>"Just a little, don't worry about it, come on pancake time." </p>
<p>That get her moving, she almost runs to the kitchen. I think the only thing slowing her down is those slippers, I'm going to have to get her some new one.</p>
<p>Once I've gotten to the kitchen the Doctors sat at the table waiting for me. I pour the batter into the pan, turning around as the Doctor puts down her empty mug. "Another?" I ask, taking her mug back over to the kettle. </p>
<p>"It's like you read my mind." I flick the kettle on, turning back to the pancakes, flipping them over.</p>
<p>"So you really fought off aliens in your pajamas on christmas day?" I ask, very intrigued.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I think it was ohh, 2005 or some time around then."</p>
<p>"I would've been six." I laugh, sometimes forget how old she really is.</p>
<p>"Thanks for making me feel really old there." she pouts. I place the pancakes in front of her and she perks up again. "I was nine hundred back then, long time ago now."</p>
<p>We fall into a comfortable silence as we eat our breakfast. Once were finished I collect all of our dishes and head over to the sink, running the hot water filling it. "Right I'm popping off for a shower, then I really do need to sort the wiring out on the Variable Speed Drives before the backup circuits fail. You sure your ok, cleaning up, I can help if you like?" She offers, I shake my head.</p>
<p>"No, no its fine Doctor, feels good to be doing something if I'm being honest." I admit.</p>
<p>The Doctor heads off to take and shower and I head to the table to wipe it down. I've never know anyone get in such a mess with syrup. I turn around, turning the tap off just before the sink overflows. Stupid, you can't even wash up with fucking up. I think to myself.</p>
<p>As a plunge my hands into the water I remember I never turn the cold tap on and the water is boiling. I hiss slightly as my hand turn a reddish colour. I pull them out of the water and think about turning the cold tap on to cool them but realize the the water level in the sink is too high. I steel myself, plunging one hand back in the water to pull the plug. Once some of the water has drained away I run the cold tap, feeling instant relief as my hands cool. At least now the waters at an ok temperature to actually wash up at.</p>
<p>After I've made sure the kitchen is clean I head back towards my room. "Oh you stupid hair, why won't you do what I want you to." I hear the Doctor shout from inside her room. I smile to myself as I know on the door.</p>
<p>"Need a hand?" I ask through the door. Afew seconds later the Doctor opens her door, she's wearing her dressing gown over her towel and her drying hair is sticking out all over the place. </p>
<p>"Please, I'm still not very good at this stuff." She answers me, opening the door a little wider to let me in. She leads me over to her bed where shes pluged in a hairdryer and a set of strighterner.</p>
<p>"Sit down the side of the bed and let me." I say patting the bit of bed between my legs. "So you've really never been a women before?" I ask as I brush through her blond locks.</p>
<p>"No, alway been a man. It takes quite a bit of getting used to, there's so much I need to learn." She states. "Clearly styling my hair need to go up the list."</p>
<p>"I'll teach you, I suppose I've had the benefit of being a teenager, you should of seen my hair and makeup back then. Awful." The Doctor laughs at that.</p>
<p>"It can't of been that bad."</p>
<p>"Oh it was, I'll show you a photo, next time I've got my phone." She laughs, I gently still her head. She really isn't very good at staying still. We stay in a comfortable silence as I finish styling her hair. Once I'm finished I hand her the mirror to make sure she's happy with it.</p>
<p>"Thanks Yaz, I can never get it to do this." She's beaming at me, she looks so alive. I'm about to turn and leave when the Doctors phones lights up, it's Ryan ringing her. </p>
<p>"Hey Ryan, what's up, I know I'm running late on the repairs, promise not long now." The Doctor answers.</p>
<p>"Doctor, don't worry about it, is Yaz there? I need to talk to her." Ryan says, a tone in his voice I'm don't like very much.</p>
<p>"Why? What up?" She asks.</p>
<p>"Look O turned up at ours last night, said he's not seen or heard from Yaz in days. He just wants to talk to her." The Doctor looks over at me worried.</p>
<p>"No, Ryan please just trust me, it's best he doesn't."</p>
<p>"Doctor, I don't think that your call to make, please can I talk to Yaz?" Ryan asks getting slightly frustrated. I walk up to her and slowly take the phone out of her hand.</p>
<p>"It's Yaz." I say, in the background I think I hear O.</p>
<p>"Is that her now?" I think I hear him say.</p>
<p>"O's really worried about you Yaz, he just wants to talk." Guilt twists in my stomach, I never meant to upset him more, what have I done?</p>
<p>"Tell him I'll meet him at the flat..." I turn to see the Doctor, all the happiness has left her, there's fear in her eyes, I'm sure of it. "But the Doctors coming too, otherwise no." At least this way I should buy myself some time before he get angry, I know he's not going to like it but I don't think I can't do this without her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. The Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We're standing outside my flat now, I'm nervous. What if O's still really upset with me? I'm picking at the slightly frayed edge of my jumper, the Doctor stood in front of me protectively. After a few seconds O opens the door, he look disheveled and worried.</p><p>In that moment I can't help myself, I push past the Doctor and hug him. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I was all my fault." I cry into his shoulder. After he's gotten over the shock, he holds me close to him, squeezes a little too hard, my ribs twinge in protest. I don't mind because I've missed him so much.</p><p>The Doctor clears her throat, reminding me of her presence. We all step into the living room in awkward silence. As I walk through the flat I realize everything is as it was that night. I glance over at the spot on the wall where he pushed me, my bloods stained the wall. I feeling sick, how did I let it get this far? I should of just shut my mouth, taken it. "O I'm really sorry, please forgive me. It won't happen again." I look away from him, focusing on a stain on the carpet. O come and sit down beside me, pulling me into a hug from the side.</p><p>"I know sweetie, I know. I forgive you." He lifts my chin to look me in the eyes. "I'm just glad you're home."</p><p>"I'm sorry, you forgive her? I think it should be the other way around after the state you left her in." The Doctor interjects, she's standing beside the table, a dangerous look in her eyes. O pushes me away standing up.</p><p>"Yaz, what have you been saying to her?" He asks raising his voice. I drop my gaze again, maybe bring the Doctor was a bad idea.</p><p>"Nothing, I haven't told her anything. Please O." I beg.</p><p>"Whatever lies she told you, there just that, lies. We just had a fight, that's all." O explains to the Doctor, his voice low and dangerous.</p><p>"Yeah I'd say you where fighting, two cracked ribs, six stitches? Yet look at you, not a scratch on you. Doesn't look like she should be apologizing to you." The Doctor spits back at him, I've never heard such venom in her words, It only makes me feel scared.</p><p>"Well, she's clearly not told you the whole story then has she?" O pulls me up by my hair. "Why don't you tell her Yaz? What upset me so much?" </p><p>"Let go of her!" The Doctor commands, taking a step towards us. O pulls my hair tighter around fist.</p><p>"Stay back!" O shouts at her. "Go on sweetie." He pulls at my hair again, the Doctor looks on helpless.</p><p>"I was defending you... he didn't want me to see you anymore, I'm sorry." I blurt out, just as O had intended. He releases my hair and throws me towards the Doctor, who catches me.</p><p>"Yaz..." Is all the Doctor can manage.</p><p>"If you hadn't stuck you ore in, we would have been fine!" He shouts at her, taking a step back towards the kitchen.</p><p>"If I hadn't... really, this started long before she met me, I know that for a fact." The Doctors angry, more so than I think I've ever seen her. I don't like this look on her.</p><p>"What have you been saying to her Yasmin!" He asks, taking a step towards me, raising his hand. Before I know it the Doctor has stood in front of me, blocking him.</p><p>"You will not lay a hand on her!" She bellows at him. O holds his hands up in mock surrender before lifting one up and backhanding the Doctor. She stumbles backwards, clutching her cheek. There's a fire in her eyes.</p><p>"O stop!" I shout but he ignores me.</p><p>"Enough, who are you?" The Doctor questions, he looks at her calculating. "Oh come on stop with the games, everyone in this room know you've been inside her mind." O steps back and begins to laugh.</p><p>"Mmm. Got me. Well done." O states still laughing.</p><p>"What's going on, Doctor?" I ask.</p><p>"I don't know." She admits.</p><p>"Oh, come on, Doctor, catch up. You can do it. Come on." He's come right up close to the Doctor, grabbing her chin.</p><p>"You can't be."</p><p>"Oh, I can be. I very much am." He releases her chin.</p><p>"So what's going on, then?" I ask, I don't understand, it's just O, right?</p><p>"I'm her best enemy. Call me Master." O answers me, the Doctors got her head in her hands now. "Me and her, we go way, way, way back."</p><p>"No, No, No. You're not, you can't be." She Doctor gets out.</p><p>"Oh but I am. How is Bill? Still tremendously dead, I expect." Something in the Doctor changes.</p><p>"Still dead."</p><p>"Who's Bill?" I ask.</p><p>"Oh, of cause Doctor, you never tell them about your other pets do you?" He mocks her.</p><p>"Why are you doing this?" She asks face unreadable. O walks around her.</p><p>"I was board, so I popped into your future found out about little Yaz over here. After that it was easy, so starved of love. I have had a lot of fun." He's smiling at the Doctor wickedly. In one short move the Doctor's got him pushed up against a wall.</p><p>"Board, you mess with me all you like, but you keep them out of it!" O's calm, he just cocks his eyebrow as he talks.</p><p>"Short fuse, this new body of yours. I can relate to that!"</p><p>"No, every time, you have ruined so many lives, cause so much hurt to my friends. All to get to me. It stops, it stops today." </p><p>"Oh Doctor, I don't have to ruin them, you do that all on your own. Rose, Amy, Captain Jack and that just mentioning some. How many lives has your loneliness ruined?"</p><p>"Doctor what is he talking about, how does he know you?" I ask, the more that's being said the less I understand.</p><p>"You enslaved Mathers family, tried to burn Donnas mind, converted Danny and Bill into cybermen, you can not blame me for that." She lets go of him walking away. She's lying I see it in her eyes, she blames herself for all of this, everyone of them.</p><p>"Well as fun as it's been catching up, my plan is almost in place and I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now would I?" with that he teleports away, leave me and the Doctor alone again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Her Oldest Friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We take a moment to catch our breath, my mind in racing. I don't understand what's going on.  How did O just teleport? What did he mean, Call me Master? Who's Bill? I look over to the Doctor, getting up off the floor. My ribs twinge and my head is pounding. The Doctors stood there, frozen, staring at the spot O had been in just a moment ago. "Doctor..." I start, breaking the silence. </p>
<p>She looks at me as if she'd forgotten I was here. A moment later she comes back to herself, rushing over to me. "Are you Ok?" She asks concerned.</p>
<p>"Fine." I lie. "Doctor what's going on?" I ask, she ignores my question.</p>
<p>"We're not safe here, Yaz I'm sorry but need to need pack a bag. You can't come back here." She says pulling her sonic out and scanning the room, I don't move still in shock.</p>
<p>"Doctor What do you mean it's not safe here?" I try again. She turns back to me sympathy in her eyes but an expression I can't read there too.</p>
<p>"Look please we don't have time, I promise I'll explain everything when where safe but please just pack a bag!" She shouts. I jump a little, heading to the bedroom to get as much as could fit in a suitcase. Clothes, family pictures, phone charger, I sling in, whatever I think I'm going to need.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>The Doctor feels guilt overwhelm her, how could she of let this happen again? He's back, after everything she went through with Missy for her to turn into him, to do this. She felt sick. </p>
<p>After sending Yaz to pack a bag she picks up her phone ringing Graham. "Graham, you and Ryan need to get to the TARDIS now, me and Yaz will meet you there."</p>
<p>"Doc, what's happened?" Graham asks, the Doctor shakes her head.</p>
<p>"No time, TARDIS now, I'll explain everything there, please just do as I say!" She knows she's getting angry now but in this moment she doesn't have time. The Doctor needs to know they are safe.</p>
<p>"Ok fine, I'll get Ryan and go now." Graham replys</p>
<p>"Stay safe" The Doctor sighs before hanging up the phone.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>"Right Doc, now where all here can you please tell us what's going on?" ask Graham. We've just entered the TARDIS closing the door behind us. The boys seem very confused, I don't blame them really. </p>
<p>The Doctor looks at me smiling sadly. "Yaz... I'm so sorry but they need to know." She whispers, I shake my head. I don't want them to know about me and O. I don;t want them to see me for what I am.</p>
<p>"Please... I can't." I whisper tears welling up in my eyes.</p>
<p>"They need to know, not all of it, but they need to know who he is." She replies. I think for a second but she's right, I nod my head once. </p>
<p>The Doctor turns back to the boys. "O... well he's not who you think he is." She starts, I feel the familiar sensation of bile burn the back of my throat. "He's really a man named the Master, he's like me, a Time Lord. The Master was one of my oldest friends. We went very different ways. He's planning something, I don't know what or why and I'm really sorry but he's most likely going to want to hurt you." she finishes explaining.</p>
<p>Ryan speaks first "If he was your friend, why would he want to hurt us?" The Doctor turns away from use fiddling with the controls of the TARDIS.</p>
<p>"He wants to hurt me." She says factually. "Always has..." I lean against one of the columns in the console room, my body aching after O's rough treatment.</p>
<p>"Yaz... you Ok?" Graham asks walking over to me as Ryans keeps probing the Doctor for more information. </p>
<p>I put on my best fake smile and nod my head. "Yeah fine, just you know... O and everything." Graham lightly moves a stand of hair from my face revealing the stitches on my temple.</p>
<p>"Was that from him?" He questions. I shake my head smiling wider. "That's what you'd say to Grace... she worried about you, always glad when I said I'd seen you on my route. Never did know why... I think she'd be glad the Doc was looking after you."</p>
<p>At the mention of Grace I let tear roll down my face, I miss her so much. Graham pulls me into a hug causing me to cry out. He didn't mean to hurt me. He didn't know but pain burn through my ribs and back like wildfire. Graham lets go of me.</p>
<p>"Doc! Doc, can you come over her?" He shouts getting both hers and Ryan's attention. I'm leaning more on the column now trying to take deep breaths but only causing more pain.</p>
<p>The Doctor runs over to us. "Yaz, what's wrong? Is he in your head again?" She questions me. I shake my head not sure I could speak even if I wanted to. "Ribs?" She asks and I nod this time.</p>
<p>"It's Ok Yaz, I need you to shallow you breathing for me. Little pants oK?" I nod following her instructions, the pain eebs away slightly but my back is still on fire. "Better?" She asks.</p>
<p>"Back" I say breathlessly, she nods closing the gap between us.</p>
<p>"Doc, I'm really sorry. I didn't know, she was upset so I went to hug her and..." Graham tries to apologize.</p>
<p>"You weren't to know. You two just stay in the TARDIS. Let me deal with this." She says, helping me lean on her. She starts leading me to the medical bay but I stop, shaking my head again.</p>
<p>"Not there!" I insist. She nods turn the other way so we are headed towards her bedroom.</p>
<p>"And stay away from my room!" She shouts over at the boys.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Damage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor lays me on my front gently, even so I feel pain shoot through me. I let a hiss escape my lips. "Sorry Yaz." The Doctor apologies, heading to the bathroom.</p><p>She comes back a moment later with an anaesthetic patch, placing it on my arm. "I'm just going to have a quick look if the Master caused any more damages ok?" she asks me. I nod in response not trusting myself to speak. I bite down on the pillow in front of me, anticipating the sting before it comes. The Doctors hands are warm and gently but they feel like red hot pokers hitting my skin.</p><p>"It doesn't look like there was anymore damage done, I think you just overdid it today. The anaesthetic patch should help you get a couple of hours rest ok?" She explains after removing her hands and lowering my jumper back down. I nod again as my eyes begin to droop, the patch taking affect. The last thing I see is the Doctor leaving the room.</p><p>_______________</p><p>"Doc, how is she?" Graham questions heading towards the Doctor. She gives him a weak smile.</p><p>"She'll live." It's the only comfort she can give them.</p><p>"What's happened to her?" Ryan asks</p><p>"This isn't my story to tell. You're just going to have to wait until Yaz it ready to talk to you but understand that she may never be ready. Don't take it to heart ok?" The boys both nod there understanding. </p><p>"What are we doing about O then?" Ryans inquires after a moment of silence.</p><p>"We're not doing anything, I've got this." The Doctor insists.</p><p>"Hang on Doc, you can't just go off on your own. What if something happens to you?" Graham argues. The Doctor puts her head in her hands, leaning against the console.</p><p>"If you come, you'll become targets... it's what he does. He hurts the people I'm closest to... knows it hurts me more than if he did it to me." The TARDIS falls silent, nobody says a word. "I'm not letting it happen again, please just stay in the TARDIS where I can keep you safe."</p><p>_______________</p><p>
  <em>I've just walked in the door and I can feel O's eyes on me. It's been one hell of a day. "Hey" I offer but he just keeps staring at me. "O what's wrong, why are you still up, it's late."  I ask. O walks over to the window, looking out as Sunders drives off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What took you so long? you should of been back an hour ago." O questions me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My squad car broke down on my way back to the station, Sunders gave me a lift home, that's all." I answer</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well I suppose there's benefits to fucking the boss."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What! Why would you think I'm fucking Sunders! He's married with kids and I'm with you! Why do we have to go through this with everyone!" I shout. Everytime anyone does anything O thinks I'm sleeping with them. O walks towards me anger burning in his eyes, he's cornered me against two walls.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on it's not normal for a commanding officer to drive there lowest ranking officer home now is it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck off O, I'm going to bed." I push past him and start making my way towards our bedroom when I'm pulled back by my arm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are not!" O shouts at me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"O get off me, you're hurting me! Let's just go to bed and when your calmer tomorrow we can talk."  I try but O's beyond reasoning with. He grabs a fist full of my hair and begin to pull my around the room. "O stop! O please stop it hurts!" I cry out but the more I shout the harder he pulls. I try pulling my hair out of his grip but he doesn't let go, leaving him with a clump of my hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It takes me a moment to register what's happened. Once I have, I head towards the front door but O blocks me before I can run. He pulls at my hair again dragging to towards the bathroom. He throws me to the floor slamming the door behind him. I give myself a moment to calm down before getting up and trying the door. O's pushed something up against it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"O please let me out!" I bang on the door. "You can't keep me in her all night!...O please!" I begin to weep lowering myself to the floor again.</em>
</p><p>I eyes open like a shot and I take a moment to level my breathing again. As I look around I notice the absence of the Doctor, missing her. She's probably with the others but it makes me feel so lonely. I wish she was here when I woke up all the time.</p><p>I decide there no point sitting around anymore and make my way back to the console room. Ryan is the first one to notice me but soon there all silent, even the Doctor. I walk over to be a little closer to them. The boys have this sad look in their eyes, like pity but somehow worse.</p><p>"Hey you feeling better?" The Doctor asks breaking the silence.</p><p>"Yh I'm fine now." I say plastering on a smile the best I can. "Sorry about earlier." I mutter to the Doctor.</p><p>"Look Yaz, I'm really sorry about before, if i'd of known I'd never of... well...erm..."</p><p>I hold my hand up smiling a little. "Don't worry about it, it's not your fault."</p><p>"Yaz, you promise your Ok though, I mean really ok?" Ryan questions </p><p>"Never better." I smile at them. </p><p>Once the boys have turned away I let my smile drop and my eyes met the Doctors.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. The Blame Game</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm sat on the Doctors bed, she'd insisted we all tried to get some rest. "What's that?" The Doctor asks me. I follow her line of sight down to my leg, I'd not even thought about it when I'd put my short pajamas on.</p>
<p>"It's nothing really." I reply crossing my legs to hide the ugly scaring.</p>
<p>"Was it him?" She tries again, coming over and sitting next to me.</p>
<p>"It wasn't O fault." I say back, letting silence fall for a moment. I sigh "We were fighting but I lost my balance and fell into the table knocking a glass off. I knelt down to pick the pieces up... O didn't realise how close I was... he kicked my foot so I'd lose balance that's all..." I turn my head to face the bedside table. I don't want to see the look I'm sure is on the Doctors face.</p>
<p>"And you fell into the broken glass." She finishes for me, pulling me into a loose hug. I get up heading over to my side of the bed and getting in. The Doctor does the same wrapping an arm around me loosely.</p>
<p>"When I got back the next day he apologised to me, explained that he didn't realise I was that close to the glass."</p>
<p>"It shouldn't of mattered. He shouldn't of kicked you in the first place and I bet he's the reason you fell into the table." I give her a look. "Am I wrong?" She asks and I shake my head.</p>
<p>"I started the fight anyway, if I'd just done as he'd asked it would never of been an issue." I try to explain.</p>
<p>"Yaz, please understand and I'm so sorry but he would of hurt you no matter what. The Master wanted to hurt me. I'm so sorry, you ended up in the middle of this." The Doctor moves her arm and when she puts it back, it's wet. She's crying again because of me. I turn around to face her holding her hands in mine.</p>
<p>"This wasn't you Doctor, you've never hurt me. Please don't blame yourself." I reassure her, bring her hands up to my lips and kissing them gently before releasing them once more.</p>
<p>"If I'd just left you and the others on earth the Master wouldn't ever of targeted you." </p>
<p>"If I'd done as he said he wouldn't of had a reason to. We could do this all night Doctor." I reply, she smiles a little at that.</p>
<p>"Wait... did you go to work, with your leg... well you know." She asks after a moment. </p>
<p>"No, took the day off. Told them I'd let O fix the kitchen cupboard door and it fell and hurt my foot." I say smiling a little, it gave the lads a good giggle when I came back.</p>
<p>"But you said when you got back?" She pushed.</p>
<p>"I ran off, like the other night, ended up a Ryans door. I was about to walk away when Grace came up the path... after that night she was who I ran to when it got bad." I explain to the Doctor, guilt written all over her face at the mention of Grace. </p>
<p>"How bad?" She asks.</p>
<p>"...Bad enough" I say, I didn't need her feeling anymore guilty than she already did. As much as she blames this on her, I know I didn't help the situation.</p>
<p>We lay in silence for what feels like hours just staring into each others eyes before I speak again. "Who was Bill?"</p>
<p>"An old friend... Lost a long time ago now." She says, sorrow written all over her face.</p>
<p>"O said dead... did he..." I'm not sure how to finish so I let my words hang in the air. I think the Doctors not going to respond, the silence deafening.</p>
<p>"The Master converted her into a Cyberman." She starts, I go to ask her what that is but she continues before I can. "Humans like you, changed into empty, soulless shells. No feeling, no control, no way back." I look at her shocked that anyone could do that to another living thing, it's cruel, it's horrid, it's evil. The Doctor lets a tear fall and I wrap my arms around her as she cries. </p>
<p>We stay curled up together until she calms and uncurls herself. I lift her chin up wiping her tears away with my other hand. "I'm scared the Master will do it to you and the boys." She whispers, her unsal boldness gone. "I can't lose anyone else to that." I look into her eyes, making sure she's knows I mean what I am about to say.</p>
<p>"You'll never lose me Doctor." With that I feel a wave of affection towards the Doctor. I take a deep breath, prying that this is a good idea.</p>
<p>I brush my lips against hers softly.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Be Sure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a moment the Doctor pulls away, not far, I can still feel her warm breath on me. I think I've made a mistake, fucked everything up again and I'm about to get up and leave when she speaks.</p>
<p>"Be sure Yaz." She's quite, so much the opposite of herself. She looks vulnerable as if I might break her heart any second. "Please..."</p>
<p>"I'm sure" I say before kissing the Doctor again. It's slow to begin with as if we're both testing the waters but soon we grow in confidence, I let the Doctors tongue explore my mouth and she does the same. Slowly the Doctor begin to kiss down to my neck and I let out a moan. She reliese my neck and begins to fumble with the button on her night shirt. I move her hand away and undo them myself, letting the shirt fall away.</p>
<p>Her breasts are perky and her stomach toned, it takes my breath away looking at her bare. I pull her in, kissing her softly tangling my fingers in her hair as she pulls at the hem of my top. Our lips part only for a second but I miss the contact with her. </p>
<p>She looks over at my body, I know her view must be harder to look at than mine. The Doctor climbs on top of me careful not to hurt me as she does. She begins to kiss down my body once more, ensuring that she kissing every blemish left there. I pull her back up to kiss me again but as I do I see tears spilling down her face.</p>
<p>"Hey, Hey what's wrong?" I ask wiping away her tears and bring her up next to me.</p>
<p>The Doctor sniffles wiping snot away with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to kill the mood... It just hurts to see you in pain." she explains still wiping away her tears. I pull her towards me and hold her.</p>
<p>"It's not your fault, It... it was... his fault." I say surprising even myself. When I think back, I know he had reason to be angry but maybe, maybe he overreacted a little. The Doctor looks up at me pride everdent on her tear stained face.</p>
<p>"I'm glad you're seeing that it wasn't your fault but it really is because of me and I'll never forgive myself." She curls back up beside me.</p>
<p>"Hey, if I hadn't met you, my life would be so much worse. Even if you think this is your fault, which it isn't, I'd go through it all again just to see you once." She smiles slightly and I bring her into another kiss.</p>
<p>"You've taken a big step and I'm so proud of you." We lie back down and I snuggle into the Doctor laying me head on her chest. We lie listening to each other's heartbeats for a while. I've been alone so long I didn't even that how lonely I was but lying here with her makes me forget just how dark and cold it gets. She pulls be closer to her planting a kiss on crown of my head.</p>
<p>"The constellation of Kasterborous." I say breaking the spell that fell across the room. "Why there?" I ask, I've be wondering for a while. She moves her head looking out at the stars as she speaks, a sad smile on her lips.</p>
<p>"It's home."</p>
<p>"It's beautiful, where's your planet?" I ask intrigued to know more about her, she talks all the time but never says anything. The Doctor begins to play with the ends of my hair absentmindedly.</p>
<p>"It's gone, hidden in a pocket universe... safe but lost" She sighs.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I didn't know." I apologise.</p>
<p>"I look out over where it used to be and I hope that one day I can go home." She answers.</p>
<p>"Can I ask what it was like?" I ask cautiously, not wanting to cause her pain.</p>
<p>"It was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. Oh, you should have seen it, that old planet. The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song." The Doctor closes her eyes as if she can see it.</p>
<p>"It sounds perfect."</p>
<p>"Perfect to look at, maybe. And it was. It was beautiful but children of Gallifrey, taken from their families age of eight to enter the Academy. As a novice you were taken for initiation, they stand you in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. You stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of time and space, just a child."</p>
<p>"That's horrible, did you?" I ask carefully. She nods her head before she speaks again.</p>
<p>"I ran away that day... hid in the barn and cried, stayed there all night. I didn't want the other boys to hear me."</p>
<p>I curl into the Doctor and she holds me close, we sooth each other to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Contact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The Doctor stood back in Yaz's kitchen as the front door slams shut with such force. She see's Yaz physically flinch away from it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz is stood in her flat, slightly drunk arguing with O. He pushes her into the bookcase, Yaz cries out.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz is banging on the bathroom door, begging O to unlock it, chunks of her hair lie on the ground around her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Master pulls on Yaz's hair, She cries out. The Doctors looks on helpless.</em>
</p>
<p>The Doctor shifts herself making sure not to wake Yaz as she does. She gently strokes the younger womens hair out of her face, sliming at how peaceful she looks. Everytime she closes her eyes she can feel the Master probing at her mind.</p>
<p>"Contact"</p>
<p>
  <em>'Contact' The Master hisses in her mind.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'What do you want?' She starts</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Wrong question.' He retorts</em>
</p>
<p>The Doctor shakes her head and sighs. How can he be this arrogant?</p>
<p>
  <em>'Fine, What are you planning?'</em>
</p>
<p><em>'No, still wrong, ask me what you really want to know Doctor.'</em>  <em>She could almost hear my smirk on his face.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>'Why her? Why project images into her mind? Why?'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'That's better, ask me again.' He's playing games with her and she doesn't like it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'I'm not playing your games.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Oh but you are! So Ask. Me. Again.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'...Why?' The Doctor asks after a moment.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Not telling you.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Then why are you here?'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Well, it thought I'd see if you left you little pet alone again... oh we had fun. Tell you what though anaesthetic patch, very easy to enter someone's mind when there using one'</em>
</p>
<p>The Doctor pulls Yaz closer to her as she moves in her sleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>'No, you're lying!'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Let me show you.' He floods the Doctor mind with images.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz was sitting upright searching the room for the Doctor, eyes wide with fear, tear threatening to fall.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You left her there all alone but that very you isn't Doctor?' He waits for the doctor to respond, she doesn't. 'Oh come on Doctor, why don't we take a trip down memory lane.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Doctor is stood on a beach next to a man she doesn't recognize, he signaling with an oil lamp to a rowing boat out at sea. As the boat comes closer at figure steps out. Her heart sinks when she sees who it is.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'What's your name, then?'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Tom Milligan. No need to ask who you are. The famous Martha Jones. How long since you were last in Britain? The Man, Tom asks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Three hundred and sixty five days. It's been a long year.' Martha sighs</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'See Doctor, you leave them all in the end.' The Masters smug, he knows how it all ended.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You know there was no other way, you forced my hand." She retorts.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Tell you what though Doctor, alway infuriated me how you blocked me. How are you liking your little glimpses into her life.' He's trying to make her angry now.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Stop.' It all he's getting out of her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Maybe you'd like to see more?'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz is banging on the bathroom door, begging O to unlock it, chunks of her hair lie on the ground around her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Master pulls on Yaz's hair, She cries out. The Doctors looks on helpless.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Masters sat on the sofa looking smug, Yaz is behind him clearing up broken glass from the floor, her hand is bleeding.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yaz it sat in front of her mirror carefully applying makeup to a bruise on her check. She walks into the TARDIS likes nothing's wrong.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You will not touch her again!' The Doctor snarls. She can feel him trying to pull at her walls, find a way in. She tired and emotional. He finds what he's looking for.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Oh, Doctor this is too good. If I'd known you liked my cast offs, I'd of sent you Lucy." He laughing in her mind, mocking her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Don't act like you ever cared for her!'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Don't get attached Doctor, it will end like the others...'</em>
</p>
<p>The Master stops the connection between them, leaving the Doctor alone again. She lays herself back down holding Yaz close to her. She lets a single tear roll down her face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Guilt and Blame (Reprise)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"How longs she been there now?" Ryan asks me coming to sit beside me.</p>
<p>"Couple of hours I think. I brought her some breakfast but..." I say pointing at the untouched food, the Doctors muttering to herself quietly as she fiddles with something on the console. </p>
<p>"She's not even touched her tea." Ryan adds</p>
<p>"I don't even thinks she noticed I'm her if I'm honest." I'm probably right, I just hope it's because she's concentrating and not because of last night.</p>
<p>"She seems really worried. What's going on Yaz?" He asks.</p>
<p>"I'm not really sure one minute me and O are trying to sort things out then, well he said 'call me Master'. Whatever that meant but it really worried the Doctor. I've never seen her so angry." I explain.</p>
<p>"Are you OK? I mean everything with O..." Ryan tries. I shake my head, glancing over at the Doctor, I see the slight bruise forming where he struck her.</p>
<p>"I've not really had time to think about it... She feels guilty about it all." I say nodding in the Doctors direction but she stood writing notes, I think. It just looks like circles to me. </p>
<p>"What happened, with grandad yesterday, the Doctor said not to ask but I just want you to know I'm sorry." Ryans looking at me, something akin to pity in his eyes again but also guilt. I plaster a smile on my face, he has nothing to be sorry about.</p>
<p>"What for, you haven't done anything." I say hoping to be convincing. We sit in silence for a second, I let my eyes wander back over to the Doctor, she staring into a screen far to close for it to be good for her.</p>
<p>"That's why I'm sorry... All this time you were hurting and I did nothing." I look over at him ready to deny it but he speaks again before I can. "You don't have to tell me anything but please don't lie for him." I look away not wanting to face him.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna start clearing the kitchen." I say forcing myself to my feet. I pick up the Doctors tray, I'll try again later. She needs to eat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once I've gotten to the kitchen, I'm surprised to see Graham sat there finishing off a cuppa. "You alright there love?" He asks, standing up.</p>
<p>"Yh I'm fine just thought I'd tidy up abit, the Doctors in a world of her own." I say placing the tray down on the side.</p>
<p>"That her breakfast?" He asks coming over to me.</p>
<p>"Yh, she's not even touched her tea, I'll try again later." I sigh leaning against the side.</p>
<p>"You sit down, I'll sort all this out." Graham says looking me over. "You don't want to over do it."</p>
<p>"Don't worry about me, it's only a few dishes." I argue, rubbing my ribs unconsciously. I must admit they are starting to feel a little sore again.</p>
<p>Graham gives me a questioning look. "Why don't you go lie down?" He offers but a shake my head, images of before flooding back to me. "Yesterday, When you were in pain the Doc said 'Is he in your head again?' what did she mean?"</p>
<p>I sigh again "I think it's a Time Lord thing... It's weird, it's like I can hear O and then all these thing I don't want to think about are pushed to the front of my mind..." I say turning to the sink, filling it.</p>
<p>"It sounds like hell." Graham says after a minute.</p>
<p>"The Doctor helps. She said she can shield my mind while I sleep, I just don't want to worry her." I say turning to the table to  pick up Grahams mug but he places his hands over mine and guides me to a chair.</p>
<p>"You don't have to do everything love." She cuts in before I can protest any further. </p>
<p>"How can we help her?" I say breaking the silence we had fallen into.</p>
<p>Graham sighs "I'm not sure, she seems adamant she's fighting this one alone."</p>
<p>"She can't, you don't understand Graham. I've seen what he's capable of..." I argue.</p>
<p>"She doesn't want us getting hurt."</p>
<p>"And whos going to stop her getting hurt?" I ask afraid that I might lose her too. Graham comes up to me but hesitates before hugging me loosely.</p>
<p>"She be OK, we'll make sure of that." He says as I hug him back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Of course!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this took so long to come out. Everything's gone a little mad but I should be updating more often again now.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Doctor!" I say trying to get her attention, she doesn't look away from the screen. "DOCTOR!" I all but shout. She jumps a little in response but at least I get her attention.</p>
<p>"Hi Yaz, Whats up?" She asks all smiles, her perfect mask in place.</p>
<p>"You need to eat." I sigh.</p>
<p>"Me? No don't worry, I'm fine." She tries but I just shake my head.</p>
<p>"Please... For me. Take a break." I say and for a moment her mask is gone. Tired eyes full of anxiety find mine.</p>
<p>"I can't... I need to find him. Make sure your all safe."</p>
<p>"Sit down and eat, maybe it will clear your mind a little." I persuade, leading her to the stairs and sitting her down.</p>
<p>"Fine but only for a minute." She relents as I pass her the tray. The Doctor picks at her food half heartedly as I sit down beside her.</p>
<p>"Doctor, can I ask you something?" I ask after a minute.</p>
<p>"Course you can yaz, what's up?" She asks putting down her fork and turning towards me.</p>
<p>"How dangerous is O?" I ask.</p>
<p>"Nothing to worry about, I've got it under control." she smiles hiding behind her mask again.</p>
<p>"Doctor please, you can try that on the boy's but at least be honest with me..." The Doctor gives up on the pretence of eating and heads over to a cupboard in the wall I'd never noticed before, she pulls out a bottle of whisky and two glasses. She pours out two glasses handing one to me and downing the contents of the other before filling it again.</p>
<p>"I don't know. If I knew why he was doing this, maybe I could figure out what he's planning but... It's like he's gone." She take a break to take a sip of her drink. "I should of sensed him way back. I could of stopped all this..." She takes another gulp swirling the remainder around the glass. "Stopped it from ever happening." She steps closer to me and slips her hand under my shirt, her fingers lightly brushing against the bruised skin of my back.</p>
<p>"None of this was you." I reassure her again, lightly touching my bruise on her cheek. "You shouldn't have stood between us, that hit was meant for me." I say finishing the liquid in my glass and pouring myself another.</p>
<p>"If I could, I'd of taken it all, for you to be safe." She returns.</p>
<p>"It wasn't so bad" I shrug.</p>
<p>"Yaz..." Is all she can manage and it takes me back to the flat, the way my name fell from her lips so broken when she found out why O had gotten so mad.</p>
<p>"When it was good I felt like I was floating on air, he was so charming at the start, it was almost hypnotic." I say apsentmiditly tapping on the glass in my hand.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm an idiot!" I stop tapping and look at the Doctor, she's put down her drink and is heading back over to the console.</p>
<p>"What? Have you found O?" I question following her.</p>
<p>"Give me your phone." She says and I pass it to her.</p>
<p>"Years ago the Master came to earth, he knew he had to hide himself." She takes my phone and patches it into the console, sonicing it. A rhythm begin to echo around the console room. <em>Di di di dum, di di di dum. </em>"The sound of twin heartbeats."</p>
<p>"How's it doing that? What does it mean?" I ask still very confused.</p>
<p>"It the Archangel Network, It's still live!" She explains but it means nothing to me, I just look at her confused. "It how he made everyone believe he was Harold Saxon. It's a low level physic field, canceling him out, of course!"</p>
<p>"So does that mean you can track him? Now you know how he's hiding himself." I ask.</p>
<p>"It means I know more than I did, which is a start. Come on it's late and you need your rest. Go and get ready, I'll be there in a minute." The Doctors answers me, I nod in response and head down the corridor.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. I'll meet you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's only a short chapter but I'm classed at a key worker so been working a lot. I hope everyone's staying safe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor lies in bed, Yaz safely curled up beside her but she can't rest. She has to keep them all safe no matter the cost.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Contact' She reaches out trying to connect with the Master. She thinks it hasn't worked until he hisses in her mind.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Contact' She can feel he probing at her mind to find out what she knows. 'What do you want, I'm busy!' </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Stop this!' She tries knowing it's pointless.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'No! Why would I stop, I'm winning.' He's smug, she can hear it in the voice.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'What are you planning?' The Doctor asks trying to get anything out of him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Now now Doctor, do you think me stupid? Why would I tell you that when I'm so close to beating you?' The Doctor says nothing, instead she tries to probe deeper into his mind, find what he's planning but his defences are rock solid, unmoving. 'Nice try Doctor, I'm not as weak as you!' He spits, strengthening his walls.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'All right. You've come all this way. You've got me cornered. I'll meet you. Just us.' </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Where?' The Master questions.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'The flat, no weapons, no backup.' She names her terms.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Fine.' He hisses before he stops the connection between them.</em>
</p>
<p>The Doctors eyes flutter open, her gaze focusing on Yaz, she would fix this. Fix her mistake and make sure they where safe. She plants a soft kiss on Yaz's head before sliding out of bed and getting changed again.</p>
<p>She knows if any of the fam where awake they would try and stop her, that's why she had to go now. If any of them where to come the Master would have an advantage, have someone to hurt. He knew her well enough that she didn't care about her own pain, it was the suffering of others that tore her to pieces.</p>
<p>Once she ready to looks over at Yaz one more time, ensuring that she is asleep, before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her.</p>
<p>She makes her way over to the boys rooms, ensuring they are both asleep before heading out into the cold night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Power Play</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"How's the cheek?" The Master questions as she walks into the living room of the flat.</p>
<p>"Fine." The Doctor replies shortly.</p>
<p>"Are you alone?" He asks.</p>
<p>"Yes, are you unarmed?" She spits at him, circling around the sofa and squaring up to him.</p>
<p>"You have my word."</p>
<p>"Mind if I check?" I asks pulling out her sonic and pointing it at him.</p>
<p>"Oh I insist." He says smirking but putting his hands up.</p>
<p>The Doctor scans him before she speaks again. "What are you planning?" The Master lets his hands drop to his side and begins to circle the Doctor as if he was circling prey.</p>
<p>"Maximum carnage" He whispers in her ear as she stands up straighter, trying to make up for her lack of height.</p>
<p>"I don't understand?"</p>
<p>"No, I know you don't but you will soon." He's smirking again, he loves having all the answers.</p>
<p>"Why pose as a human? Why in this time?" She questions, hoping to get more than a riddle in return.</p>
<p>"Oh Doctor, ask what you really want to know." She pauses, she hates that he's one step ahead of her.</p>
<p>"...Why Yaz?" She whispers. She doesn't think he's even heard her. </p>
<p>"She needed someone to love her, it made her weak, easy to minitulate." With that the Doctor pushes the Master into a nearby wall holding him by the throat. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." The Master closes his eyes, reaching out to another mind.</p>
<p>"Stop." The Doctor yells letting go of him as the Master begins to laugh.</p>
<p>"See now who has power here, make one move against me and I'll make sure your little pets never look at you the same way again. Am I understood?"</p>
<p>"Yes." The Doctor gets out backing up slightly. "What do you want?" The Master looks at her calculating, running through options in his head. </p>
<p>"Kneel" He finally says, smirk firmly back in place.</p>
<p>"What!" She asks in disbelief.</p>
<p>"Kneel Doctor or they find out who you really are." She hesitates thinking her options over before slowing sinking to her knees.</p>
<p>"Call me by my name." He sneers. The Doctor looks up at him disbelief in her eyes. "Say it Doctor!"</p>
<p>"Master." She sneers back at him.</p>
<p>"Sorry what was that?" He asks.</p>
<p>"Master" She whispers, unable to comprehend how she ended up like this. </p>
<p>"One more time love." He stares down at her, more smug than she think shes ever seen him.</p>
<p>"Master" With that he comes down to her level, getting right up close to her face.</p>
<p>"That's better now isn't it?"</p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" She asks desperate to know now, whatever he's planning it can't be good.</p>
<p>"Look at this Doctor." He says pulling out a small controller from his pocket, the Doctor face pales. "DNA bombs, one placed in each of your pets. You're going to stay out of my way or they all die!" he laughs. "Not just them mind you, everyone they love too."</p>
<p>"When does all this stop for you? The games, the betrayals, the killing?" She spits at him not daring to move for fear of what he would do.</p>
<p>"Why would it stop? I mean, how else would I get your attention?" He spits standing back up throwing the remote up in the air and catching it.</p>
<p>"Weapon after weapon after weapon. Just stop this, we can't fight across the universe if that's what you want but not here. Not on earth." She tries but he just laughs at her.</p>
<p>"Oh look whos come to join us, your little pets are here." She looks around seeing no one. "Oh come out now PC Khan and make sure you bring Grandad and Dopey too!" The Master shouts looking towards the door. "Come join the party!" He laughs. To the Doctors shock, Yaz steps through the door, Ryan and Graham in tow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Sacrifice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh look whos come to join us, your little pets are here." I hold my breath, I wasn't expecting to get caught. "Oh come out now PC Khan and make sure you bring Grandad and Dopey too!" O shouts "Come join the party!" O's laughing as if he unhinged.</p>
<p>I take a deep breath before nodding to the boys and stepping out. What I see unsettles me, the Doctor is kneeling in the centre of the room as O rubs his hands together laughing. I chance a quick glance behind me and find both Graham and Ryan looking shell shocked, I'm not sure if it's the position the Doctor is in or the state of the flat, everything still being the way it was left that night.</p>
<p>When I decided to follow the Doctor I knew she'd be coming her but I hadn't thought to warn the boy about what my home would look like. There's still blood on the wall and the living room is a state. It looks like at some point O's smashed everything he could up, there's glass and crockery scattered across the floor. I hope the Doctor not kneeling in any.</p>
<p>The Doctor, she's still on her knees, why? She looks as if she's scared to move even if in the eyes I can see she want nothing more than to move. "Doctor?" I ask looking her in the eye.</p>
<p>"Yaz... You shouldn't be here. I told you to stay away from this one." She reprimands.</p>
<p>"I couldn't let you do this on your own." I shoot back, Ryan and Graham nodding with me. At that O clears his throat, gain the attention of everyone in the room.</p>
<p>"Well isn't this a lovely scene, seems a shame to end it." He sneers throwing something in the air catching it. The Doctor holds her breath when he does. "Well not really, now where were we Doctor!" She turns her back to us so she's facing him again but says nothing. "Ahh yes DNA bombs!" He smiles.</p>
<p>"DNA what?" Graham asks taking step forwards. "Doc, what's he talking about?"</p>
<p>"Oh look grandads taking the lead, maybe I should start with him?" O pipes up looking gleeful.</p>
<p>"Just stop! You've got me where you want me, leave them out of this!" The Doctor answers. O puts his hands up again and begins to laugh but stops. I can see the way he's thinking, like he's scanning through his brain trying to make a decision.</p>
<p>"The terms have changed Doctor, you said you'd come alone." He growls stepping away from the Doctor and towards me. Before I have time to think Ryan has stepped in front of me and is blocking him.</p>
<p>"No way you're getting anywhere near her mate!" Ryan growls back but O just begins to laugh, stepping back to address us all.</p>
<p>"Hey Yaz, we had some good time here didn't we?" He asks. I not sure how he wants me to respond, I've never seen him like this. O would get angry yes but it had never been like this before. "They were truly the best of time."</p>
<p>All of a sudden I feel a memory being pushed into the forefront of my mind, but there not like before. I'm watching them play back like a film in front of me. I turn to look around me and the Doctor, Ryan and Graham are all here too.</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm watching myself wash up as O's staring at me.</em>
</p>
<p>"What's happening?" I hear Ryan ask but I can't move, I know what this is and it's the last thing I ever wanted people to see.</p>
<p>"Master stop this now!" I hear the Doctor shout. I see her move to stand but one look from O and she stops.</p>
<p>
  <em>"I don't like that friend of yours" O says looking towards me.</em>
</p>
<p>I turn to look at the Doctor silently begging her to make this stop. She mouths the word sorry but doesn't move. Why won't she stop this?</p>
<p>"Yaz, what's going on?" I hear Graham ask but I don't take my eyes off the Doctor until I hear the smack.</p>
<p>
  <em>I see myself stumble backwards, clutching my lip.</em>
</p>
<p>"Not enjoying the show PC Khan?" O whispers in the ear. I hadn't realised he'd come up behind me. I'm distantly aware that me and O are arguing but it's muffled to my ears as panic begins to overwhelm me.</p>
<p>"Please O, make it stop." I beg. I know where this is going and I don't want the any of them to see it.</p>
<p>"No" He hisses as he forces my head back to the scene before us.</p>
<p>
  <em>O's just thrown me against the wall. I've fallen to the floor. O walks over to the table where I'd left my work thing and pulls out my baton before returning to where I've fallen.</em>
</p>
<p>"Please!" I whisper, begging this not to happen. The Doctor, Ryan and Graham are all looking to my memory transfixed.</p>
<p>
  <em>I watch as O begins to hit me with my own baton over and over until I begging him to stop. "Please O, I'm sorry, please stop I can't take any more." Soon after that I see him drop the baton and pull me up by the back of my neck and kick my out of the flat.</em>
</p>
<p>All of a sudden it stops, the room around us back to being reality. I stand there in shock not wanting to look at anyone for fear of the look in their eyes. </p>
<p>The first person to react is Ryan, he heads straight for O pushing him against the wall. "How dare you! You disgust me!" He shouts but O just begins to laugh again pulling something out of this pocket. It looks to be some kind of remote but I'm not sure what for.</p>
<p>"Ryan let him go." The Doctor calls over still staying on her knees.</p>
<p>"Oh dopeys got a temper! Do as she says." O smirks.</p>
<p>"Oi, don't you dare say that to my grandson! He's right you're a monster!" Graham shouts. I look over to where the Doctor is kneeling and there's a desperate look in her eye.</p>
<p>"Oh now now grandad clam down, getting worked up won't do your blood pressure any good." O smirks.</p>
<p>"Ryan please just trust me let him go!" The Doctor shouts trying to get him to listen but Ryan won't let him go. I slowly walk over to Ryan and take his hand guiding him away from O.</p>
<p>"Good girl Yaz. At least one of you can see who's in control here." He coos, brushing his jacket down.</p>
<p>"Doctor why are we doing what he says? He's a monster!" Ryan argues.</p>
<p>"Please just trust me, it's for the best!" She tries, Ryan nods but doesn't look convinced.</p>
<p>"Nice touch don't you think Doctor, using her own weapon against her." O smirks, collapsing into the sofa as it none of this was happening. The Doctor looks at him fire in her eyes but says nothing. "Oh come on nothing?" He probes.</p>
<p>"Let them go!" She finally responds.</p>
<p>"Why when we're having so much fun!" He smiles at her.</p>
<p>"What do you want with them? This is between you and me!" She growls at him.</p>
<p>"I want you to hurt! I want you broken!" He hisses jumping back up and stand in front of her so she has to look up to him.</p>
<p>"Hurt me then, not them!" She argues.  </p>
<p>"No" O gets down to her level and brushes the Doctors hair out of her face. "I'm going to set those DNA bombs off one at a time, starting with there loved ones. You will watch as one by one everyone dies." He whispers into her ear, the Doctor shudders.</p>
<p>"Doc what's he going on about?" Grahams asks.</p>
<p>"Go on Doctor explain how you got them all killed... again." O shouts standing again.</p>
<p>"He's implanted you and everyone you love with a DNA bomb, Micro-implants which code to your DNA. On detonation, they disrupt the foundation of your genetic code, melting your DNA. Fast and nasty and outlawed in every civilised galaxy and he's going to detonate them if I don't do what he says." She explains. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen."</p>
<p>"What do we do then?" Ryan asks. "How do we stop him?"</p>
<p>"We don't, any move against him and someone dies, I can't do anything." The Doctor hangs her head. "There's no way to win."</p>
<p>I can't let this happen, not without trying to stop this. I make my way over to O. "O please, stop this. I'll do anything just please stop." I beg taking his fee hand in mine, O looks towards me.</p>
<p>"Anything?" He asks cocking his eyebrow. I swallow the lump in the throat and nod.</p>
<p>"Yaz, don't do this!" The Doctor begs.</p>
<p>"I'll let everyone go, give her the detonator but you have to come with me and if she ever tries to get you back I'll burn your whole solar system to the ground." He offers dangling the detonator just out of reach of the Doctor.</p>
<p>"Yaz..." The Doctor warns.</p>
<p>"And everyone I love will be safe, my family, my friend, the earth?" I question and O nods.</p>
<p>"Yaz, you can't do this, we'll find another way!" The Doctor begs taking my free hand but pull it away.</p>
<p>"There is no other way!" I try to explain.</p>
<p>"Yaz love, listen to the Doc, she's right you can't do this." Graham begs stepping closer.</p>
<p>"Yaz please don't do this." Ryans begging now too but this is the only way I know how to save them.</p>
<p>"Deal." I say as O smiles wickedly at me. "Can I have just a minute?" I beg him, O thinks about it for a few seconds before nodding his agreement. </p>
<p>I head straight to the Doctor and kneel beside her. "Doctor, I need to you listen to me now ok?" I start, she's crying but nods her agreement knowing we don't have long left. "I need you to protect my home now. I need to know it is safe please. Look after my family, take care of them for me. Tell them I've had to go away but I love them so much and will never forget them." I stop for a moment to steady my breathing.</p>
<p>"Yaz... Please don't go." She begs me again. I pull her into a hug holding her close before I speak again.</p>
<p>"I have to otherwise everyone I love will die. Please I need you to listen now, if you ever loved me, if you ever thought you could... please don't try to save me. Don't risk everything for me. I'll be ok promise... and please don't blame yourself for this." I finish standing up and heading towards the boys.</p>
<p>"Ryan, Graham look after her, keep her save." I start as Graham pulls me into a hug.</p>
<p>"Please don't go." He begs but I shake my head, there's no time for that now.</p>
<p>"See everything for me. Taste every food, see every time and every planet. Will you do that for me?" I ask pulling away from Graham and hugging Ryan.</p>
<p>"This isn't fair." Ryan tries but I just shake my head and walk back towards O, swallowing the lump in the throat again.</p>
<p>"Yaz, please..." The Doctor begs grabbing for my hand one last time.</p>
<p>"This is as brave as I know how to be Doctor." I kiss her hand, begging myself to remember the way her hand feels in mine. "Look and me and tell me I was brave..." We both begin to weep.</p>
<p>In that moment I feel O pull me away from her as we teleport away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know I'm sorry but this is how it was always going to end. <br/>I was wondering if anyone would be interested if I were to write a sequel to this or maybe a one shot about about Yaz going to Grace when thing got bad. <br/>Please let me know and thank you all for reading. 😁</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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